May 19, 2005

One of Those List Things

While visiting various blogs in the past couple of months, I noticed that list-making was fast becoming the thing to do. In a pathetic attempt to prove that I still had a bit of “rebel” left in me, I resisted the urge to create one myself, but I woke up this morning compelled to conform. Dammit.

Even as I sit here prepared to cut into myself and bleed confessions and/or revelations all over this page, I still hold fast to a speck of good old fashioned mutiny and refuse to announce just how many Hagtoids (Hag factoids) I intend to cough up. It’s my way of saying, “I don’t want to be like everyone else - kinda, in a way, a little, sorta ~ or do I? ~ well maybe just a bit.”

1. I don’t care to take part in illegal doings.

2. I have willingly taken part in illegal doings ~ though not recently. (nice save)

3. My ancestors were from Germany, England and Ireland.

4. I am American.

5. The dogs in my life have been as follows: a mutt (part terrier), a Saint Bernard, another mutt (part Beagle) a German Shepherd, and a miniature Beagle. I currently have three cats.

6. I warm up to most people rather quickly, but it takes me a very long time to become best or even close friends with someone.

7. I take great personal pleasure in making people smile or laugh.

8. I have had more medical problems than I can fully recall in one sitting. As far as I know, I’m pretty healthy now, though according to charts, I’m 30 pounds overweight.

9. My hair has grown to about two inches below my waist and it’s completely uncooperative.

10. I have no appendix but still cling to my tonsils.

11. I hate to blow my nose in front of people but have no issue with people blowing their nose in front of me.

12. My work-space at home looks like a war-zone. My work-space on the job is immaculate.

13. I excelled at Spanish in college and can still understand it if spoken slowly, or in print. I have trouble recalling it quickly enough to speak it when needed; same applies to American Sign Language.

14. I spent a night in Union Square Park (Manhattan) to explore the lives of bums. They were kind, and quite eager to be interviewed. It really felt as though I was visiting their "house."

15. For a very short time, I worked as a shill in Las Vegas. (shill = decoy gambler)

16. I live within one mile of the world’s largest casino (Foxwoods) and never go to it, or any other casinos, for the purpose of gambling.

17. I loathe traffic jams; they almost make me physically ill.

18. I slept on the sidewalk outside of Madison Square Garden back in the early ‘70s just to get in to see Bob Dylan the next night.

19. I had the ever-loving shit beaten out of me during high school race riots in the early ‘70s.

20. I don’t drink alcohol … unless you count Bailey’s Irish Crème on very rare occasion. I’ve never been drunk in my life.

21. I have three older sisters; no brothers. My neighborhood buddies (da guyz)were like brothers to me.

22. I have 27 first cousins; most are still alive.

23. I have often felt as though I was in love ~ until now. Now, I know I’m in love. (Thank you Ed)

24. I have lived in New York, New Jersey, Nevada and Connecticut.

25. Throughout my mid- to late-teens, I was always the designated driver ~ long before “designated driver” was even a coined phrase. This never bothered me in the least.

26. I have a wicked, unforgiving, mean streak. It rarely surfaces, but when it does, I hold little (and sometimes nothing) back.

27. I have suffered with Panic Disorder for most of my adult life. I was Agoraphobic for eight full months – rarely leaving my bedroom, and never leaving my house.

28. I attended two acting schools. (“I coulda been a contendah…”)

29. I wrote several short children’s stories in my early 20s. I never published them, and they were lost in the shuffle that was my life at the time.

30. I am a passionate person. When I love, it’s passionate, when I hate it’s equally as passionate, when I’m indifferent ~ it’s no different.
I’m rarely indifferent.

31. I suffered with severe migraines for many years. I still get one on occasion, but they are now few and far between.

32. I’ve held so many jobs that I tend to lose count. Some were laughable, others enviable.

33. I’m not a huge fan of change, but I adapt quickly and handle it well in the long run (in most cases).

34. I absolutely HATE the fact that I have to take pills on a daily basis just to stay alive. This truly pisses me off.

35. I used to be a total control freak – the type most people just hate. It took years to break away from this, but I’ve done a great job of it. Now I’m just a self-control freak … which, in some ways, isn’t much better.

36. I like poetry, but have a hard time understanding it much of the time. I write some, but only when the mood hits me ~ and it probably sucks when I do.

37. I had a heart attack at 43. It’s in the genes. My grandmother died in her early 50s, an uncle died at 37, and a nephew died at 30 ~ all from sudden, massive heart attacks. I’m frightened enough to take my meds and eat decent foods, but I’m not scared shitless to the point of allowing it to ruin my time while I’m on this earth.

38. It took me about 40 years to learn how to compromise. It’s actually fun, and makes for a much simpler life.

39. I have an incredibly strong work ethic. Sometimes, like when I know I’m getting screwed over on a job, I hate this about me.

40. I know less-than-nothing about politics. I don’t view this as a negative – or as a positive.

41. I like odd numbers far more than even numbers, and for that reason, I’ll end here today. Will there be more? Ya just never know.


Blogger mrhaney said...

this is a very interesting post. when you get finished you should send this to your relatives and then they will probably know more about you than they ever did.

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, very interesting! I resisted doing a 100 Things list for a long time, too. It just felt too revealing until I realized some of the other things I've mentioned and already revealed in my blog or in comments! I don't think doing a list is joining the bandwagon, because each person's list is different, so unique to them! I'll be waiting for the next batch of "Things"!

8:51 AM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Interesting blog and wonderful post!

You might want to visit my blog,

Like yourself, thinking is the glue and sometimes the anchors that keep us going!

I'll be back.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Sask 1 said...

So young to have a heart attack.Thank god you recovered.Its a very interesting list and you got to see Bob Dylan.Damn you im jealous.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Lyvvie said...

I went to Foxwoods once I was of legal age. I had a panic attack. I get freaked out in crowds.

I love these types of lists...I'm nosey.

Thanks for sharing. I may do one too.

11:42 AM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

I love your list. And you too..

12:11 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

Great list. Oddly enough, your writing is so detailed and distinct that I already ascertained most of that info from your stories. But the lists are good, so keep it up!

12:19 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Very nice list. I'm still working on mine. I can't seem to get anywhere with it though. Sigh.

Even your list is one reason why I love reading you. You're very articulate.

Panic attacks suck. And about the pills to stay alive, I get it. Not for the same reason as you, of course, but if I didn't take my effexor, God only knows what I would do to myself.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous colleen said...

Between the race riots and "wicked" and that fact that your part Irish, I'm guessing you could be from Southie. I like the list. It's a fast way to impart essence and get to know someone...not just facts but humor and nuance. It flows from one line to the next like a poem. We are (most bloggers) trying to describe ourselves for the record and as I research my geneology I find myself wishing my ancestors had done something similiar.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous J said...

My goodness, Carol. A person can fit a lot in when they're an old hag.

I'm allergic to confessionals. I don't even like to admit to a favorite color, because the Russians might use it against me.

8:49 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

What a good list; nothing too trivial or smarmy here! I have resisted writing my own 100 things list because it seemed to be a self-indulgent/self-promoting thing to do - but you did it so well that I might get around to it soon.

9:30 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Very likable and my type person, says list!
Can see you have been there, done that and worn the t-shirt too!

1:03 AM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I suspected you weren't really a weary hag. More like a cheery fag.

Thanks for the list. I so love those.

1:55 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

Listing? You gave into listing? Conformist! Okay, like I should be talking as I list all the time. Sigh. Your list however is acutally insightful, while mine are nowhere close to that. I like that about you Carol, your "let's get to the point and move on" attitude.

enjoyed the list and learning more about you. You are not only the best WH I know, you have to be one of the toughest. Write on!

2:17 AM  
Anonymous colleenR said...

I meant "South Boston" Massachusetts! Sorry I should have been more specific. My kin are from there. I relate to your physical limitations and who you are regardless. Next time your at my site check out (spring fevers/categories) for more on that.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Love your list. I'm a list maker, myself. Probably a little Compulsive/Obsessive or is it the other way around? (Note to self: look that up later.) I would probably need to make my list either 40 points or 45. You are brave for stopping at 41.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Bekah said...

I think #14 is amazing. What I would love to do, more than anything, is photograph a bum for an entire day. Just follow them around (with their knowledge, of course), in their daily life and take half a million pictures. I would pay them for letting me do this. I'm just too chicken to ask anyone. But it's a dream.

1:35 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Being an once in awhile lister, I loved this. I like the 100 things that people do because they are all different and gives a little picture of stories that may someday come out or those really short stories that make up a person. Your list is fantastic!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That was so interesting. Thanks Carol. I loved reading those, give me more, give me more! You are such a fascinating person!

10:10 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

This is a great list as it was the first time I commented on it yesterday. My comments seem to be disapearing faster than the weight I'm tring to loose.I can relate to #26 and can't wait for the post on #2

10:12 PM  
Blogger Wicked H said...

New to your blog and happy to have found it durig this particular post. I must now catch up with it all.

Enjoying your writing - keep up the great work!

10:05 AM  
Anonymous John said...

I don't have the patience to build a list that long! Maybe ten things... Thats do-able!

2:17 PM  
Blogger Lizabeth said...

So interesting! You have led quite the life and hopefully have so much more ahead! I loved reading it. I actually was just thinking this morning of posting a list since I've been MIA recently. Have a great weekend!

3:03 PM  
Blogger dan said...

It must take you ages to wash your hair. Not to mention the shampoo you must use.

Shame about losing those stories.

9:07 PM  
Blogger L said...

You sound a lot more interesting than I :)

6:51 PM  
Blogger Raehan said...

I loved getting to know you better.

Carol, do you have a favorite post or couple of posts from your own blog. I'm collecting them in a recent post and would love to have yours.

1:56 AM  
Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Lists are good! Yours is better ;-)Keep bloggin' away - I'll keep reading. You've gone and gotten yourself quite a following! hehe!



2:11 AM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:29 AM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Fascinating list that parallels my life (again) in several ways, but is so different in others. I, too, have resisted this list meme, but also realized people are naturally curious. However, I still sit firmly unlisted (or blacklisted) w/ none on my blog yet.

Love the term you coined: "Hagtoid". You're unique, as we all are, in what we write. I understand that independent rebellious streak.

It's fascinating to read about you!

3:35 AM  
Blogger FDF said...

Remember, keep this xanax and all other medicines out of the reach of children, never share your medicines with others, and use this medication only for the indication prescribed.

6:06 AM  
Anonymous Vicodin said...

Where can I get more information? Your pharmacist has additional information about anxiety written for health professionals that you may read.

6:33 PM  

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