Hey ... Psssst. Want Some of My Money?

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s being caught off my guard. I’m fairly certain most folks would agree that getting taken for a ride, being made a fool of, getting scammed … no matter what you call it, it’s just no fun.

About three summers ago, my daughter and I were traveling along I-95 coming back from a trip to Staten Island. We both needed to use the facilities, so I pulled into the parking lot of one of the ten thousand McDonald’s/Mobil stations along the highway. We took care of business and while walking back to the car, were approached by a rather frantic looking female.

She spoke quickly but clearly, telling me how embarrassed she was to ask this, but that her car had broken down hours earlier, and that her infant was without formula. She said she waited in the car for a trooper to come by (the car was on the highway) but instead, a kindly tow truck driver stopped and offered to take her and the baby to this rest area so they could at least get milk and use the bathroom. He was willing to tow her car back home, but she was just twenty dollars short of his fee.

“So where’s your car?” I asked without even thinking about all the rest of the crap she just told me. “It’s still on the highway about two miles south of here,” she said. “Oh … well where are you from? Sounds like Boston,” I said, smiling now (not because I especially love Boston, but because I could relate to being far from home, late at night). “Yeah, I knew I shouldn’t have attempted this trip,” she replied, “I’m from just south of Boston … and I’m just frantic to get my baby back home safely in her crib.”

I scanned the area and I could see a tow truck parked about seven or eight cars up from my own. The flashers were off, and I could have sworn I saw a car seat in the cab of the truck. I had no real reason to doubt this woman. She was clean-cut looking, hair neatly braided … she looked weary, but alert. Her clothes were simple and clean and she had money scrunched in her hand. And … my heart went out to her. A young woman (about early 30s) alone and broken down on a highway in a strange town with her baby in the car – at night? Who wouldn’t feel a little badly for her?

I hesitated … then reached into my purse and fumbled around for the last of my cash – which was about eighteen bucks. Good lord, I even asked my daughter if she had any money at all with her … luckily, she did not. Somehow I would have felt even more foolish had I involved my kid in this idiocy.

When I gave her the money, I said “Here, it’s eighteen … I’m sure someone will give you a couple more bucks … good luck.” She took the money and thanked me profusely and then took it up a notch by asking for my address so she could mail the money back to me. I told her not to worry, that it would come back to me someday* in another way, I’m sure. She was persistent though … and ready for this? I GAVE IT TO HER. (great, now she knows where I fucking live)

Oh, but wait … there’s more. You see, when I do something foolish, I don’t mess around. I have to jump in with both feet and scrape the bottom of the pond looking for broken glass!

As if it hadn’t been enough that I forked over the last of my cash to a complete stranger, I got back in my car, opened my purse and rummaged for more; I felt THAT badly for this chick.

I came up with a fresh, crisp twenty dollar bill that was neatly tucked into a zippered section of my purse ~ my emergency loot! I got out of my car … ran up toward the tow truck and as she turned and looked at me (kind of startled, I might add), I proudly waved the bill at her and said, “Here, I just found more money!” She took it, told me how kind I was … God Bless-ed me … and away I went.

I have been made a fool of at other times in my life, for certain, but this took the cake as far as over-thirty, where’s-my-street-smarts, you-oughta-know-better, total retard-jerkass-idiocy is concerned. I hate to mince words in such a way, but it’s true.

So how did I come to know I had been scammed? Because two days later, while watching the local news on television, they reported a “widely-used scam” that was being run at the region’s highway rest stops. Several people … not people like me but the smart kind, had called this into police over the past three or four days. They were suspicious of this woman and the tow truck with NO LETTERING on the side of the truck and simply walked away to report it. Like I should have. But didn’t. Because I’m a sap.

So I’m writing to tell anyone who might gain from this … the old “Don’t judge a book by its cover” thing doesn’t always mean things could be better than they first appear. It also means things could be totally worse.


*I found a hundred dollar bill that following Christmas Eve under the left quarter panel of my truck. I scanned the parking lot of the pharmacy and when no one was around looking like they lost it, I kissed it up to heaven and ran like hell with it. I figure I had it coming to me.

"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm" Colette (French novelist)