All Bottled Up

Happy March to all!

My gym-chant for today will be “Spring is near so WORK that gear!”

Things feel good these days. I’m feeling more and more like my old self, but less and less like my tired old self. The days are longer and my mind is stronger. Can I get an “OH YEAH”?

I’ve always wanted to find a message in a bottle. There’s something so romantic about it – don’t you think? Even if the message were a simple “hello” from a far off land, I’d rejoice … I’d feel special.

This morning I sat and thought a bit about what I’d write if I were so inclined to send one out. After you’ve read my messages, see if you can come up with one of your own and add it into comments or post ten yourself. Might be fun!

Top ten things I would write if I could send a message in a bottle:

1. If you are reading this, good. We already have enough illiterate people in the world.

2. I’ve never met you but I know we already have three things in common. I too would walk along the shore looking for a bottle with a message in it; I too would dance that nifty little sand-jig you danced while opening this note; I too would be gravely disappointed to find that it lacked profundity.

3. I have discovered the ultimate secret to longevity ~ never read notes found in floating bottles. Ever.

4. This is a really and truly a school project. Please add your name to the bottom of the list, copy it and send it out in 30 other bottles. Please don’t break this chain or bad things can happen to you.

5. By opening this bottle, you have unleashed all of the evils of the earth. To redeem yourself, you must tap you right foot to a four count, flail your arms over your head and sing the entire tune “Who Let the Dogs Out” to the first four passersby.

6. Finder … please accept this carefully rolled hundred dollar bill as a special, once-in-a-lifetime gift from a total stranger. Oh wait. I must have left it in the car. Maybe next time.

7. Dear reader … please get off me.
Sincerely, the scallop that is under your left foot.

8. I am a blonde. A lot of people in my country say we are dumb. I don’t think this is true. When you find this, could you please tell me if it’s the same in your country? I am enclosing extra paper and a pencil for your convenience. I shall patiently await your reply.

9. A half hour ago, I tossed this into the ocean hoping it would travel far and wide and there you stand twenty yards from me, ruining my entire plan. Killjoy.

10. If you are standing on the shoreline in New Jersey, excuse the call, clearly I've gotten a wrong number.


Well, I did say I was back to blogging, but I never promised you a rose garden. This is all I've got for today.