October 14, 2005

Turn-On ... Turn-Off ... Turn This

While browsing around this morning, I discovered that I had been tagged by Ovedya whose blog I don’t get to frequently enough – as is the story with many others. He has a tidy space over there, filled with lots of goodies for one and all, and it’s more than worthy of a visit. You won’t be disappointed.

I’ll use this good timing to announce, here and now, that I’m not thrilled with the whole tagging practice. For some reason, when asked to cover a specific topic, my mind sees it almost instantly as “Okay, you won’t think of a damned thing to say about this.” Something happens to the normal cross over of my optic chiasm, leaving the poor little axons and dendrites perplexed beyond all reason.

Okay, so that was all a load of hooey to put off spitting out that I just don’t like to do memes. I don’t mind reading them on other’s sites … I would just prefer to remain an observer. In this case, I’m the girl at the dance who hugs the wall but enjoys watching the moves so I can take them home and practice them in a mirror.

This tag, however, is simple enough ~ lends itself to introspection and has allowed me to make my point ~ not bad for free, right?

In any case, thank you for thinking of me, Ovedya.

Top Ten Turn-ons (non sexual and not in any particular order)

  • The aroma of coffee brewing first thing in the morning (I don’t drink it)
  • That cool feeling of walking into a room in which the furniture has just been rearranged after a long, long while
  • Christmas morning (hot cinnamon buns in the oven, presents begging to be opened, and hearts filled with love – no matter how sleepy they are)
  • Thunderstorms ~ the more obnoxious the better
  • Cheese ravioli parmigiana (this one, for me, is borderline sexual)
  • Joni Mitchell’s voice and lyrics back in the 70s and 80s
  • The smell of gasoline while filling my car
  • People who are wise and say things that make me think, “Damn, I wish I had said that.”
  • Playing board games that test my vocabulary, my memory, or my creativity
  • Staying (and using room service) at hotels. This is a tough one because I hate to go away from home, I just like hotel rooms!

Top Ten Turn-offs (in no particular order)

  • Having to stop making a list of top ten turn-ons just because the ‘rules’ say so
  • Being mistaken for someone who cares at times when I really and truly do not
  • That nobody ever asks me to get in a picture just because I’m the only one who remembered to bring a camera (Ed not included; he usually does ask)
  • Being put on medication number two just so that it will offset the way medicine number one affects me
  • Bureaucratic bullshit (in the form of seemingly endless red tape)
  • People who go around saying the Yankees suck just because it’s the sexy thing to say at the moment. Keep your opinion to yourself about the Yankees; I doubt they care and I know I don’t. Come tell me all about it the day your team wins their 26th World Series. No really, I’ll make tea and pie. We’ll talk.
  • The Red Sox. [made myself snicker on this one]
  • People who say nucular instead of nuclear. It’s phonetic. It’s really not that hard. There’s only ONE ‘u’ in the word. (sorry Ed … you know this is a pet peeve – hadda say it)
  • Getting into the shower only to realize that my new shampoo and conditioner are sitting in the closet down the hall.
  • Anything or anyone scented with that smell from hell – patchouli. It’s offensive. It smells like (I would imagine) the inside of Lance Armstrong’s sneaker after a bike-a-thon. It shuts down my sinuses and initiates a migraine faster than anything else. It smells like decomp on a hot, humid day. It could make a skunk hurl his lunch. There is nothing pretty or pleasant about this stenchification. If you got it as a gift, toss it and never speak to the giver again. If you bought it by mistake, you can be forgiven - once. If you like it – there is little hope. (sorry best friend Betty – but yuck)

Now I’m supposed to tag five people. This is the part I hate the most; choosing. How about anyone who is up for it, offering one turn-on and one-turn off in the form of a comment?

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!


Blogger Tabor said...

OK, I took your challenge since it was only two...at my site. Interestingly I was introduced to the patchouli plant/tree once in Belize and the leaf smells just as bad! I also have a life story on this that I will blog someday, maybe.

4:46 PM  
Anonymous John said...

I don't play the tag thing. Actually, it's been a long time since I played tag... ;)

5:48 PM  
Anonymous colleenR said...

Love Joni Mitchell. Not the smell of gas. Got a little Red Sox in my DNA. Going to see what Tabor said next.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Kathy AKA Ben said...

I don't play tag either, nor baseball...but I've got Red Sox in my DNA too! (hi Col). Great entry.

8:48 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

I'll just admire your meme from afar, if that's okay. You did well; I'm like you said you were - unable to think of a darn thing - but then you did think of stuff to write (as you always do and do so well).

9:46 PM  
Blogger Floridacracker said...

I can relate.
Too much like a homework assignment. Never heard of patchouli...

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Simply Coll said...

I'm game :-)

One turn on:
finding something so hilarious that I laugh so hard.. tears fill my eyes and my belly aches.

One turn off:
waking to hear the north wind rattling my bedroom window. (usually accompanied by snow)

10:08 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I like memes but I never expect anyone to fill them out. It's sort of a do what you want sort of thing. So here you go, this is mine.

Turn on: Karaoke. Not just the singing part of karaoke but the very special after karaoke part where we sit and talk and laugh and enjoy each other's company.

Turn off: The smell of beer on anyone besides Gil. Yuck.

I may have to borrow this meme.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Check it out: I love the smell of gasoline.

It used to be better back in the 70s. But it still smells great.

Also, I like the smell of coffee but don't drink it.

And hell yeah on the rearranged furniture. Man, you're smart.

12:36 AM  
Anonymous bekah said...

Okay, non-sexual turn on? The smell of Prinny's neck, the sweet part right under her puppy cheek.

Turn off? Coming home from a week long cruise only to find that I hate doing my own dishes and making my own bed. I much prefer being waited on. ;-)

1:29 AM  
Blogger the Monk said...

I don't like the tagging thing, either...can never think of ten...but i think i can do two...
turn-on (sexual): intelligent women...
turn-off(non sexual, I guess): people who don't listen and try to understand the other's point of view...

2:54 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Oh yes coffee...mmmmmmm....and christmas morning...yaaaaaaaaay!!!
I love to re arrange the furniture...hmmm, i may just go that now!!
I hate hate hate beauraucratic red tape too!

7:25 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

Good morning, Carol. In ref. to your comment: I don't know of a Charlotteville in WV. There are Charleston and Charles Town. Charlottesville is in VA. I will have to check a map to see where that town is located. Do you remember the area of the state it was in?

7:44 AM  
Blogger Justine said...

I tagged for a turn-on, turn-off list once. I avoided it.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Justine said...

You like the smell of gas? That's an aquired taste! Like the smell of burning rubber, too?

8:23 AM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

This was a delight to read. Your pathcouli rant made me inhale a few feathers as I snorted (I printed your posts & read them in bed; I don't like reading long things off the screen). Does that make me sound like a stalker? Good!

Now then.

Turn on: The thrill I get when a huge fire engine blares by. Yes, somebody's house is burning, but wow----all that power.

Turn off: Store clerks who use terms of endearment like "hon" and "sweetie" three seconds after I walk into the store. I don't know you, Honey Lips!

8:44 AM  
Blogger Alisa said...

Hmmm. I may have to do a full list on my site.

1 Turn On - A clean house

1 Turn Off - the smell of "cat" when the cat has decided to leave a present somewhere that I cannot find.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Swifty said...

Hey Carol, you've occasionally commented about posts and the need for you to use a dictionary? "optic chiasm"? Sheesh! A look-up job for sure.

You have my sympathy here Carol. It's not my preferred way of posting, either, but for different reasons. The real truth is, once I start I want to reveal all of my warts, wicked secrets, and the big boil on my bum. I don't know where to stop. I figure if I get all of the bad stuff out of the way, the only option is for the reader to like me. Crazy eh?

Anyway, I'm having difficulty in trying to build up a coherent picture of you but it's tricky. All I can say is, that's some nose you've got there. I've never known anyone, dogs apart, whose life is so dominated by smells. By the way, you might be amused to know I almost, "that's some hooter you've got there", until I remembered it has a different meaning there in the States.


3:45 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I have the same first two turn ons:

The aroma of coffee brewing first thing in the morning (I don’t drink it either)

The feeling of walking into a room in which the furniture has just been rearranged after a long, long while.

Plus one of my own: Crisp fresh bed sheets to sleep on.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Patchouli makes me so mad! Skunk butt I tell ya. And yeah, shuddap about how much you hate the Yankees. Talk about how much you love your Red Sox...but wait, you can't because they keep losing.

6:42 PM  
Blogger The Assimilated Negro said...

sexual with the ravili eh? must make for interesting dinners at the Outpost residence.

"I think I'll eat mine in the bathroom, thanks"

"oh and maybe turn up the joni mitchell records a little louder so I can't hear what's going on ..."

12:22 AM  
Blogger dulciana said...

I'm totally with you on the patchouli thing. Yuck.

Turn on: good red wine
Turn off: bad drunks

12:31 AM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

Turn on - clicking on your blog and finding a new post.

Turn off - reaching the end of the post.

I must be the only person on planet Earth who doesn't know what patchouli smells like... or how to spell it w/out looking.

1:44 AM  
Blogger dan said...

turn on - the smell of new magasine gloss

turn off - the smell of an unwashed ass.

12:44 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Turn-On: Music. Rock and roll.

Turn-Off: Toilet humor. I always think it is immature.

Don't worry, I won't tag you with any memes in the future!

8:57 PM  
Blogger Swathi said...

ok i now know what 'patchouli' is n boy! 'am I glad I never got to smell it!!!

turn-on for me is : smell of fresh showers on sun-baked earth

turn-off : ppl arguing for the sake of argument

4:23 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

Carol, I am so glad I gave you a laugh, but next time, don't have tea in your mouth, okay?!

8:32 AM  
Blogger Lyvvie said...

Great list, Carol. I also love the smell of gasoline, but don't be tricked, this stuff here in the UK called petrol, it's not exactly the same. A hot Summer day and gasoline fumes...oh yeah.

I must admit, I like patchouli in small doses, but those who bathe in it and smell like a compost heap are really icky. I do feel the same way about Christian Dior's Poison; it is what it says it is, and smells of cat's pee.

I'm not one for moving the furniture around, I like knowing where things are and change is disturbing, but I love the feeling of lying on top of a freshly made bed. That's heavenly.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

Turn on: fresh ground coffee. I don't like the smell of it brewed, just ground. I always hang around that part of the supermarket a little while.

Turn off: people who use their car horns in cases other than emergencies (or drivers asleep at the wheel).

10:02 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

I enjoyed reading your post. I found you via...well, I can't remember. But, I'll be back! Come on over to my place sometime....

10:34 AM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Turn on-Reaching the last chapter of a good book

Turn off-People in the stores jumping in front of you.

11:28 AM  
Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

I actually liked this meme. And of course your answers were brilliant, as usual. Especially since it involved baseball and my HOUSTON ASTROS are doing quite nicely for the first time ever. :)

12:05 PM  
Blogger Ovedya said...

Thanks, Carol, for playing along.

Re: Your patchouli comment: I agree completely, although I am one of those ex-hippie kids that fell victim to this scent's "hype" when I was a young lad. There was a time that patchouli was considered "cool." However I was a few years too late on that one. The best compliment I ever received while wearing it was, "Dude, you smell like....dirt."

1:08 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

You are officially one of the coolest people I "know" now :D

4:23 PM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

BTW, I checked out Ovedya. Good find.

5:33 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh, Carol, you are silly. I never once thought that you were being mean or a snot. Some people like memes, some don't. Don't worry about it.

1:53 PM  
Blogger The Other Half said...

people tell me i've been smelling too much gasoline sometimes ;-)~

1:54 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

i never liked tag in grade school.

8:54 PM  
Blogger jon said...

You forgot cigarettes on your turn on list. AHHH yes, a smoke and a coffee, or just a smoke, boy does that sound good......I gotta go take a cold shower, I'm getting a little too turned on.

9:07 PM  
Blogger MYSTIC said...


10:28 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

turn on - an intelligent conversation complete with laughter

turn off - bullies, especially those who bully just because they can.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Turn Ons:

Ella Fitzgerald or Etta James singing almost anything ooo and surfing the snooze alarm - I love the way my mind wanders between the broken bits of dreams and reality.

Turn Offs:

I don't like to hear no. Zealots of any kind annoy the piss out of me. Incompitency in leadership.

That's a few anyway...


1:42 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

OMG I actually made it here, and boy do I have a lot of catching up to do. I've made my brekky and I'm all settled in here for a good read..got my french toast and a bottle of my daily caffeine boost drink to keep me company.

I love that feeling after moving the furniture around...I wish I'd thought of that lol

"I'll make tea and pie. We'll talk" LOL (I have a NY Yankees baseball shirt, care of Walker for Xmas...he sent it cos he knew I really wanted one...so I'm ok in your eyes with this one right? lol)

I can so relate to what you've said. I might even have a go at this meme myself seeing as it's a shortish one. (I'm not so keen on being tagged myself, but I don't mind knicking them off others sites, there's no pressure that way lol)

4:58 PM  

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