September 05, 2005

Odds and Split Ends

I feel a little disjointed this week, so I thought it would be appropriate to create a post reflecting as much. I’ve also been tagged by RCS and dared by Dave, two of my favorite bloggers; my responses to these requests will be integrated as well. The rest will be snippets of random thoughts and views laced with humor and sarcasm, heart and soul.

There you have it (if you hurry and don’t look back, there’s still time to get out).


Ed has decided to take upon himself the huge task of redoing our laundry room. I think “redoing” is a word guys like to use when they get an urge to employ as many power tools as they can in as short a time as possible. Yay for Ed. He’s so clever, creative and capable.

There should be two days every week when people cannot post. This would afford people like me a chance to catch up on reading rounds. (Some already practice this … and I’m eternally grateful) I hate showing up to someone’s blog having missed out on several great posts. Sure I can scroll back, but that leaves the S’s and W’s or C’s and G’s on the back burner for way too long, depending which direction I’m going in.

I gave up being messy and disorganized for about two full hours yesterday, then I came to my senses.

I don’t like toilet paper hanging from the bottom. It seems more immediate to have it hanging from the top. I grew up with toilet paper hanging from the bottom. Perhaps this is just a fine example of the rebel in me.

I have new neighbors. Everyone likes to inspect their new neighbors when they first move in, right? (please say it isn’t just me). What I’m about to tell you is a bit scary so if you’re squeamish, move on. On the second sighting of these folks, they put a full sized red lacquered naked female mannequin out on their back deck and proceeded to BBQ and eat dinner with it at the table. No lie. I already love these people.

I had to spell check three words in that last sentence. I’m actually embarrassed over this yet I’m all alone in my room. What does that say about me?

Our pond is so dry that we’re waiting for the fish to come knocking at the back door for a drink of water. This could explain Ed’s sudden need to “redo” the laundry room ~ hard to get a boat out into the pond and go fishing when it’s tied at the dock and sitting in dry muck. We need rain, dammit.

People shouldn’t be arrested for shooting others until we first examine the reason. Like if someone starts up their lawn mower at 6 a.m. on a Sunday, we should be allowed to shoot them … at least in the shoulder or something.

I hate it when I do things that a completely demented person would do like putting away groceries and two hours later finding a can of tuna (just bought - unopened) in the refrigerator. This means I have to go through all my cupboards to see if anything requiring refrigeration was also misplaced. Cripes.

I often wonder if someone like Hillary Clinton ever put on a pair of pantyhose with a mid-thigh tear in them figuring nobody would notice it beneath her dress. I like doing this because I feel like I’m getting away with something … pulling a fast one. [laughing at myself now … because it’s true]

I have accidentally gotten into a shower wearing my eyeglasses. You don’t really need eyeglasses in the shower but apparently I need to do this at least once a month to keep reminding myself.

If you haven’t already purchased Lightening Bug’s Butt’s brilliant book, you must. It will keep you entertained for hours and hours. There’s a “purchase here” link on his blog. The same could be said for Mark’s book … a delightful collection of short Christmas stories that he “invented” for his family. I’m so proud to have both these books on my new bookshelves.

I don’t consider myself overly patriotic (patriotic yes, overly - no) but I get teary eyed and swell with pride singing the National Anthem at ballgames or watching the Marine Corps Band marching in a parade.

Regardless of the fact that I am fully aware of what goes into a hotdog, I love the little bastards and will treat myself to one every now and again.

I think people would be more apt to cry in front of others if there wasn’t that ugly “cry face” that accompanied it. I don’t mind the cry-face of others, but man do I hate it on me. Especially if there’s nose slobber and no tissues close at hand.

I knew a man from England who referred to himself as a bakery engineer. He baked rolls and bread. I think it’s neat that in England, many many job titles have the word ‘engineer’ in them. It’s so … something.

This was an actual diary entry of mine from September 5, 1976. “Worked 3 – 10 p.m. Eddie and Alan and Bonnie came down & we went to Seaside – good time – came home and went to sleep.”
Twenty-nine years later, I can tell you that Eddie would later become my husband (ex now but still friends), Alan is dead (motorcycle accident) and I have no clue who Bonnie was. Seaside refers to Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and I wish I had been more verbose at the time so I could be reminded why we had such a good time.
Somewhere throughout the years, any relationship I ever had with brevity went out the window.

Tagged: Five songs that I’m particularly fond of are: “Stardust” by Hoagy Carmichael, “Embraceable You” music and lyrics by George and Ira Gershwin, “Magic Carpet Ride” by Steppenwolf, “Texas Flood” by Stevie Ray Vaughn, and “Heaven” by Los Lonely Boys. I cannot believe I’ve just had to list only five songs I’m especially moved by. That, for me, is like asking “which of your major organs do you like the best.” In other words, what I pretty much did here was pull these five from my ‘most frequently listened to’ selection. I won't tag anyone on this because I think everyone's done it already and I don't want to get beaten up.

Dared: Dave recently posted an old publicity photo of his (it rocks, by the way). I made the dreadful mistake of mentioning that he would die laughing to see my old headshot from the singing/acting days of the good old 70s. Don’t blame me, blame the Ghirmack perms that were all the rage. He dared me to post it. Be warned.

Image hosted by

Speaking of poodles … of all the doggie types, these are my least favorite. I’m so sorry for those of you who own them. I’m sure they’re loving and adorable companions and to you, their high pitched yipping is a welcome sound. I find them aurally offensive and jeepers it feels great to get that out in the open for once in my 50 year life. I wouldn’t hurt a poodle (while I’m awake, anyways) and I’ve been known to pet them on the head gently from time to time, but they really must have been in the back of the line the day canine voices were handed out.

May everyone have a lovely week. Remember to keep sacred that crowded little apartment or that in-need-of-repair house – at least you have a roof over your head; much more than many thousands have on this day.

Random thoughts are fun … they allow me to be messy as hell right out in front of everyone and not even give a hoot.


Blogger Rob Seifert said...

I too have climbed in the shower with my glasses on. It can be very amusing. Your list could easily be my list on any given day. You need to tag some people too chuckle. Of your random thoughts, I found this particularly amusing:

"I don’t like toilet paper hanging from the bottom. It seems more immediate to have it hanging from the top. I grew up with toilet paper hanging from the bottom. Perhaps this is just a fine example of the rebel in me."

Well if you grew up with toilet paper hanging from your bottom or your top, I could well imagine that you would have difficulty with it today. Go you rebel go!


2:00 PM  
Blogger Grant said...

Do not skip the G's (or R's, depending on how you view it).

Like you, I wish I had made longer notes when younger. At least we're keeping a record now.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

I wish I had the forethought to keep some kind of journal throughout my life. I have forgotten SO many things I have done. At times, a friend will say "remember when we..." and I will say "HEY, I DID do that, didn't I???"

So, while you could have been a little more verbose, at least you have sumpin' to remind you.

Great random thoughts, as usual Carol.

4:05 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

Please don't skip the J's, Carol.

This post has just reminded me once again how upset I get when you go for a week at a time without posting!

Glasses in the shower - of course -doesn't everyone? I love the hair in the pic; we were all guilty of that in the 70's. You were cute anyway!

4:49 PM  
Anonymous John said...

A great post carol. Nice pic too, I always liked those perms.... You look great!

Poodles you say? I grew up with them, and I hope to get yet ANOTHER Standard Poodle this winter. Awesome dogs. No offense taken, no worries!

I think you should post your random thoughts more often, best post I've read all day. Needed a laugh too, thanks. :)

4:56 PM  
Anonymous colleen said...

I just posted on the Blue Ridge Blue Law...meaning Sunday at least should be a no blogging day.

I will always switch the toilet paper roll when my husband hangs it from the bottom/back. I have an aversion to it that way and I can't understand why he doesn't notice that I change it and put it right the first time just to make me happy.

I went back to guess which words you likely misspelled in those 3 sentences. That's my idea of fun.

I sometimes put eyeglasses on ontop of ones I'm already wearing!

I haven't lost my senses yet. You should see my desk!

6:05 PM  
Blogger PBS said...

I liked reading random thoughts, so interesting. I haven't heard “Magic Carpet Ride” by Steppenwolf for a long, long time. It's a great old song, reminds me of my party days! As for TP, I used to always put it hanging from the bottom when we were poor--to use less of it! Now that I have more money, I've switched, ha ha! I have no idea whether or not it really worked that way.

7:54 PM  
Blogger L said...

love the pic :) heh heh

I have to say that your hair is much prettier than the feathered abomination that I wore at one point, however.

And your new neighbors definitely sound non-boring, the types that might be fun to have over for a drink

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Simply Coll said...

I so enjoyed reading your random thoughts. Many brought a smile :-)

I love the picture!!

11:10 PM  
Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

Every single summer of my childhood I went to seaside heights, NJ. We stayed at a little rat trap called the Holiday Motel, across the street from the beach. So many great memories there....

11:25 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

We had the same perm! LOL, the sad thing is,25 years on, i still have mine!

1:52 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

the pic is excellent! love hot dogs too, and as for poodles, i find them to be quite an endearing pull dog... "PULL" followed by the sound of shotguns... okay, I apologize to all the poodle owners... sort of.

loved the random thoughts, thanks for the plug for the book and hey, please drop my the Ms when you can.

3:38 AM  
Blogger dan said...

i hope you get that rain soon. poor little fishies.

as for your husband, can i just enquire as to if he sticks to his timescales for jobs at home, only i say things like it'll only take a couple of days and it goes on for weeks, which is why i'm now single.

that and i'm useless at any d.i.y. other than plumbing.

i've taken note of your request not to post so often

5:03 AM  
Blogger Lyvvie said...

I like disjointed ramble posts...especially with wonderful pictures from days gone by; how gorgeous are you?!

I'm a toilet roll from the back don't end up pulling it and having the roll come streaming off. It invades my personal space sticking out in front, espcially wihen folded into a point like hotels like to do. To the back it must go.

5:16 AM  
Blogger Walker said...

Thats a great head shot so shud up.
Poodles I don't like but chihuahuas I want to kick when they are at your feet yapping at you ankles trying to scare you. 'Boot'
I took care of the toilet paper thingy but throwing away the holder and now you can tear it off anyway you like.
I understand about missing blogs, I have almost 100 ( read and there is no time.
I love it when some go on holidays. We should rotating vacations LOL
Have a nice day. :D

8:00 AM  
Blogger Pete B said...

Glasses in shower - dunno, haven't needed any - YET!

Tag - buggrit, I just responded to the same tag from Cher, and tagged you as one of my few known readers. Doh! That'll teach me to be certain I'm up to date with all Blogs before tagging, in future. I agree, though, it's rather an unfair question.

The photo is stunning. Sure the perm is a little surprising by current fasions - very much of it's time I'm sure - but step back and take it in context and it's a fab publicity shot.

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is an awesome pic!

As for poodles, other than the awesome fat poodle my grandmother had (she fed him kosher chops, no lie) I am with you.

1:51 PM  
Blogger katie said...

That is a great picture! I am with you on the toilet paper. If it is "wrong" I will actually fix it.

3:46 PM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Love the pic Carol.You look so beautiful.I feel a little relieved also that im not the only one who puts things in the freezer that shouldnt be there.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Floridacracker said...

Great photo, although the current profile one is very nice too.

Magic Carpet Ride...who can not turn it up as loud as it will go?

Toilet scotch tape, I have trouble getting the roll started...after that I don't care which way it rolls.

Dogs...No small dogs!

5:46 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Loved this. I always enjoy when you have a post but the random thoughts ones are the best.

I know what you mean about the posts. I try hard to catch up and will sometimes find myself up until 4 or 5 in the morning promising to read "Just one more post." There are some people where I'll just read one or two posts and then go onto the next blog but there are others where I have to read everything they have written.

I do not have the toilet paper problem. This is not surprising. I'm fairly laid back.

I once misplaced a can of cleanser when cleaning the bathroom and had to retrace my steps. I found it in the fridge. No clue why.

6:37 PM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Your Royal Weariness:

Thanks for the glowing endorsement! With publicity like that, I can retire on the royalties soon! And yes, you can have your cut.

What a marvelous picture, Hag. I'm getting a retro-stiffy even now.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Alisa said...

I love the pic... very Carly Simon-esque.

I'm a total paper towel over, not under, person myself.

9:05 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...


You never fail me. Every time I need something to make me smile, even when I don't know I need it, you are there.

I am a toilet paper over person too. It just makes more sense.

I laughed right out loud when reading about your new neighbors. Don't be embarrassed about looking up spelling. I always have trouble with red, BBQ, and table too. ;)

Great post, as always. I do like your picture, even if I'd advice against perms in the future. But in the context of time, it is a great picture and very stylish.

5:11 AM  
Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

ROFL. You slay me!

Love the picture. I feel the same way about McDonalds as you do about hot dogs. And exactly the same way you do about toilet paper. And people posting daily. And poodles. But can you imagine if poodles barked like Rottweilers? We would ALL have them.

11:06 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

Oh, poor Otis! Too bad you couldn't take him. That reminds me of some people we bought our first house from in Norfolk. They moved off and left their cat with us (they didn't tell me beforehand either!)

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Don't want to boast but in our upstairs loo there has always been two toilet paper holders and I religiously hang one from the top and one from the bottom to keep everybody happy! Maybe I should get out more.

1:46 PM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:20 PM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

great post..

2:21 PM  
Blogger jpr said...

My hair is naturally poodle-fied. I can't escape it short of just leaving it really short. Fortunately, I am a guy and this is a viable option...problem solved.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Lizabeth said...

Gosh I don't know where to begin! I agree with you about hotdogs, I love them until someone reminds me they are "lips and assholes". I totally get teary eyed too, I don't get it, but I'm not OVERLY patriotic.

Who doesn't inspect new neighbors, you have to know whats going in, you should take a picture of that mannequin- i gotta see it to believe it. Which brings me to your picture, its awesome and you are beautiful in that vintage way-totally a compliment, I can see the beauty behind the 'fro.

Sheesh- the "cry face" you are so right, ugh, I hate mine too!

One more comment... I always think I've journaled well till I read it in a few years, and realize I've left out far too much.

Great post!

6:23 PM  
Blogger lilly05 said...

Yeah, I hate the cry face too, I once had a Jerhmack perm and I actually had my school pic taken right after I got it! GAAAAAAAAAHH! My Mother had a really sick sense of humor regarding school photos. Toilet paper should definetly be hanging from the top!! I have a promotional picture from my radio days too, I'll have to dig it up one of these days and share it with the blogging world!! Laf!

7:22 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

I always like your posts. I consider you to be a professional writer who hasn't taken the next step yet.
BTW you were a cutey then and are still a cutey now..

10:27 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

that was a good read.. random thoughts are fun.. i usually do them a lot... in my posts.. by the way.. I update this site regularly.. the rest are all branches of thoughts... LOL

and yeah you are talking about the lawn mower I need an air gun to to shoot my neighbor who thinks the best way to jerk everyone up early in the morning is to blast rock.. I am not a morning person myself and that really spoils my day though I love rock music..

And yeah I have gone to sleep many a times with my glasses on.. rest of the time I wear my lenses so I am saved... LOL

12:53 AM  
Blogger sidcruise said...

You look like a rockstar ;)..

2:20 AM  
Blogger Swifty said...

What can I say, that all of your readers haven't said. I can only agree with the person who considers you to be a professional writer who has yet to take the final step. So why don't you get off your arse (never mind the state of your tights, just keep your legs closed) and do something about it?

By the way, I'm hanging up my tights and keeping well away from misty forests, and enigmatic maidens :-)

One more thing. Your writing is impeccable, but you sometimes have a nasty habit of leaving a lot of space at the end of your post. So in order to be consistent in your new role as "organised and tidy Carol", go back into your blogger edit screen, and delete the hidden carriage returns, and then republish. For me please?

5:40 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...


haha... Thanks a ton for noticing and for telling me how to fix that annoying space!

This organization junk isn't as easy as it sounds.


6:38 AM  
Blogger Swifty said...

Cheery wag,
I don't know how things are in the States, but here in Britain, there are some who might think I was being impolite mentioning it. We're a strange breed.


6:45 AM  
Blogger Justine said...

Lawnmowers and weekends arenot supposed to ever overlap.
Great post Cheery Wag (good nickname Don!)

9:10 AM  
Anonymous bekah said...

I've gotten into the shower with socks on, and underwear. But not at the same time. And toilet paper MUST hang from the top. it's the logical way.

1:39 PM  
Blogger TSBAllStars3 said...

Sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to your posts. This one was just as good as the ones I remembered.

I couldn't help thinking about what kind of random thoughts go through my head while reading your post. I might have to take a page from your book and post a totally random blog.

I am going to hit the river tonight in search of some much needed antisocial/alone time(AKA Fishing). I will definitely dedicate a catch to you. Thanks for making me smile.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...


3:04 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

i just thought i would rop by and say hello carol. it seems like you have enough comments though. all those comments just reminded me of some thing. when i was on the u.s.s. enterprise floating around in the south china seas we would wait for mail call. i use to get a few letters a day. some guys i knew started to get a lot of letters and of couse i was jealous and i asked how come so many people write to you guys. they said we sent a letter to our home town newspaper saying we were off the coast of vietnam and the only thing that kept us sane was letters from home. we gave our address and after about 10 days the letters started comming in and have not stopped since.

2:07 AM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Yes, the random thoughts psot is a god idea, pity my mind is a blank!

Great post, I like standard poodles as my folks had them.


2:28 PM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Dang my typing!

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

... see, Carol... I do too drop Kev , the cool one..
Love your sense of humor...

7:17 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

"I often wonder if someone like Hillary Clinton ever put on a pair of pantyhose with a mid-thigh tear in them figuring nobody would notice it beneath her dress."

I cn't answer this but I can tell you a funny story about what Hillary has under her dress.

Once, I had an window seat on an airplane. Hillary happened to be assigned to the aisle seat next to me. As I made my way past her she had to lift her legs and move them to one side to accomodate me.

And when she did that, her nuts popped out!

7:40 AM  
Blogger dulciana said...

Great post! I'm right there with you on the toilet paper, the panty hose (when I ever actually wear any), and the shooting. Lawn mowing at 6 am is definitely an offense punishable by death. I'll have to take exception to your poodle prejudice, though. They're exceptionally smart and they don't shed. The bigger standard ones have better barks than the little yappy ones. I really want to hear more about your new neighbors!

10:58 AM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

I don't want to seem like a comment hog, since I've already posted one... but your picture looks like somebody famous, and I can't put my finger on it. Goldie Hawn in her younger years? Tanya Tucker? Somebody, but I can't decide who.

Enough from me for now.

12:43 PM  
Blogger MYSTIC said...

Carol, Thanks for stopping by the blog. I want to say that your photo is beautiful. HOT! I also want to say that I agree with the Brit..(you won't hear me say that again). You have a gift and you should explore the possibility of professionally writing. You would bring such joy to so many. Do consider it..I know you have heard it before, Take the leap of faith.

1:42 PM  
Blogger jon said...

Hi Hag! Been busy fixing up houses to sell and move into so have not had the time to visit my blog buddies lately, but I'm fixing that tonight. Wow! I identified with volumes of your post. especially the hot dog thing. I can eat 'em for breakfast or any time. And the patriotic thing, some people are patriotic to the point of being naive. I do not, but I am moved by the anthem, and stories of people who fought for our freedom, and stories of 9/11 (like your recent post) make me fiercely patriotic.

11:17 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

looks like a picture of Stevie Nicks before narcotics.

1:49 AM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Terrific post. Took my mind off of 9-11 for a few min. -
Lovely photo then and now of you! :) You've become quite brave posting photos. Since I'm usually behind the lens, I *could* post the blurry photos others have TRIED to snap of me, but I don't want to attract any more skeeters... hehe

6:22 AM  
Blogger David said...

"People shouldn’t be arrested for shooting others until we first examine the reason...."

Careful. I believe waking someone unecessarily is only a capital offense the second time.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Great post Carol!

I'm with you about the poodle thing. Those yips drive me insane...and although I wouldn't do it, I'd quite like to pat them on the head with more force than is required lol

I love your celeb shot by the're gorgeous! But then I already knew that.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Rocco Cones said...

I have some great ideas :) Nevermind. Next time.

2:03 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home