July 15, 2005

You're a Dedicated Blogger If ...

1. While driving in your car, you keep one eye on the road while the other eye watches out for posting-fodder along the way.

2. Your vacation checklist includes the following item: “Post a ‘going on vacation’ blog before leaving.” If you’re really hopeless, it might also include “check blog to see if anyone wished me well” further down the list.

3. You’re suddenly glad you had that root canal (insert: blazing sunburn, fender bender, broken leg or heart attack) in ’96 because you were running low on post ideas.

4. You find yourself saying things like “Aw, look at the cute little tree blog …I mean FROG” or “Last night I slept like a blog … I mean LOG.”

5. Your purse or backpack is filled with the following items: pens, notebook, mini voice recorder and digital camera; if you’re lucky enough, a laptop is tucked beneath your arm. You're hopeless if you're only going to the grocery store!

6. a) When someone comes to your home, you proudly break out the mixed photo albums, but when it comes to uploading an image of yourself on your blog, you painstakingly rummage through 250 pictures in order to choose only the best of the best for your post.

6.b) You hesitate and change your mind five times before uploading a photo of yourself. You’re hopeless if you photoshop it first, covering the grey or cropping 10 unwanted pounds.

7. You resent the fact that the media labels you as being self-absorbed because you blog. What pisses you off the most is that you know it’s at least partly true, but it doesn’t really matter.

8. Your real life friends beg you not to use some embarrassing moment of theirs as a post topic.

9. You’ve just created a masterpiece on a hot news topic, but before you publish it, you read three other masterpieces on the same topic ~ all outshining your own by a long shot. You begrudgingly delete your work of art.

10. You go to add a brilliant comment on somebody's post only to find that someone already said exactly the same thing. You end up typing “Great post” and leaving it at that out of frustration.

11. First thing in the morning, you turn on the computer and open your blog site before making your coffee. If you’re really hopeless, you do so before you use the small room (toilet).

12. You’re thrilled to see six comments on your freshly posted blog, only to discover Blogger went whacko during the night and posted triple comments. If you’re really hopeless, you swear out loud over this.

13. You look over and see your dog holding his crotch because you haven’t let him out for five hours while you were totally absorbed in blog-hopping.

14. The family comes to know the back of your head better than your face as you sit at the computer night after night trying to get your blog template “just right.”

15. You sit at your desk and computer for hours on end at home, writing a post about how horrible it is to be tethered to your desk and computer at work all day. (NOTE: at work you got paid for it, while blogging, you did not; at work, you stopped for lunch, while blogging, you did not)

16. Sometimes while on vacation, you used to get a little homesick; now you get blog-sick (as in blogdrawal).

17. Your dreams used to include winning the lottery, clocking your obnoxious next door neighbor, and living in a castle with a Lexus parked outside. Now they include winning the lottery and attracting better than 20 readers per post.

18. You sense a great loss when a fellow-blogger hasn’t posted in two weeks time ~ or worse, when they quit blogging altogether. You can’t stand not knowing what’s wrong, and you’ve never even met them or seen their face.

19. You beat yourself up all evening because while driving home from work you came up with a brilliant post topic and half-wrote it, mentally ~ you get into the house and can’t recall it for all the tea in England.

20. You hesitate for ten full seconds before clicking “publish post” because it’s a topic that might offend someone ~ who, more than likely, won’t be reading your post anyway.

21. You post a bitch-fest about your job, only to discover that someone at work has been reading your stuff. They threaten to have you fired, so you rush home and immediately go to Monster.com (job search site) rather than deleting your post. You’re really hopeless if it's no contest.

22. You lie awake at night trying to decide in which order you will attack your blogroll the next morning, making sure not to skip anyone and hoping they’ll understand if it takes you several days to catch up. You’re really hopeless if you’ve got your blogroll memorized ~ in alphabetical order!

23. It’s a struggle to decide if you will share your Blogger URL with the extended family … you must first spend three full days reviewing your older posts to be sure none of them include insults about Uncle Vinny or Cousin Pete.

24. In a desperate attempt to keep up with other bloggers, you start posting “reruns” you published several months ago.

25. You start to notice a “spread” on your bottom from sitting in your favorite blog chair (read computer chair) but it’s all good because you’ve skipped many meals for the sake of posting, reading and commenting. You’re really hopeless if you figure somehow it will even itself out.


Blogger Yoga Korunta said...

Symptoms are there. If only the writing were good enough to attract readers!

7:03 AM  
Blogger Alisa said...

oh my! I think I might need to request an intervention before I can put a tick mark next to ALL of them.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Rainypete said...

26. You make a list chronicling symptoms of your condition in the hopes that others will comment that they too suffer from the same things. This makes you feel good about yourself and allows you to return to your exercise program of fleeing horror inducing crustaceans without guilt.

8:58 AM  
Blogger midwest_hick said...

I think you covered the affliction well.....lol

9:23 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

This is a nice collection! I'm glad I stumbled onto it. Nice blog, I'll be back.

9:29 AM  
Blogger dan said...

Aside from number 8, I fit all of those criteria.

Friends don't beg me not to post anything embarrassing about them, they just threaten me with death.

Once again, you have come up with a great post which we can all relate to, judging by the comments.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Lyvvie said...

Hello, My name is Lyvvie, and I'm a Blogoholic.

12:43 PM  
Blogger BlackOps said...

Damn, I have a many of these symptoms. Am I ready for 12 step program now?

1:06 PM  
Blogger psuche said...

Great Post.

2:15 PM  
Blogger psuche said...

No really, that was funny. I have unfortunately had many similar symptoms ;)

2:16 PM  
Blogger sidcruise said...

So true, blogging is a disease, the most prevalent affliction I identify is with grappling with many ideas (thinking of lines)and when I come to blog it damn all are vanished ........

2:24 PM  
Blogger katie said...

Okay, a lot of those apply, but I don't have a problem. I could stop at any time. I just do it once in awhile...

2:25 PM  
Blogger The Other Half said...

i think i may lose my job because of blogging...this is definately a sign that a 12 step program is needed, right?

2:26 PM  
Blogger Tabor said...

Yep, you hit them all for me. My problem is I get all these great ideas/comments for my blog at work or on errands and when I get back to my computer to blog I don't forget them, it is like a dream...I realize they are not 'great' ideas at all and certainly not worth posting.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous John said...

Guilty on ten counts! I am hopeless. Thanks for making my addiction so obvious! hehe....

5:54 PM  
Blogger Wicked H said...

27. Dr. Phil dedicates a whole hour to this very topic. How's that blog thing workin for ya?

6:43 PM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Dang, I'm dedicated or addicted. I don't yet have the miniature recorder yet but have been thinking about getting one.

I was also thinking of a miniature video camera in a baseball cap so I can record any Blog worthy events.

My sad.


7:58 PM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

...and yes when I wake up I turn the PC on to boot up before brushing my teeth etc.


7:59 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Soooooooooo Ummmmmmmmmm Whatareyoutryingtosay lol


Have a nice weekend. :D

8:05 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

Numbers 10-11-18 and 24 spoke to me. I especially feel badly if YOU don't have a new post everyday!

10:37 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

*Holding my sides and laughing*

You ARE on a roll Carol! One great post after another :)

God, I almost cover the whole list...feeling very loser-like...for a few minutes..can't spare any more.... Have to go blog! LOL!

11:02 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

26. You feel an exhilaration comparable to first sex everytime you get to leave the first comment.

11:18 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh, good Lord. Isn't that the truth?

I have not yet purchased the mini tape recorder.

Other than that, yeah, I'm an addict.

20 something. You eat cold tater tot hot dish on your lunch break because taking the 4 minutes to go and heat up your lunch would detract from precious blogging time.

Carol, by the way, my comments have been bouncing back to me. I think your email might be too full. Let me know if you want a gmail invitation. I have 150 of them.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I think I just about fit the entire list lol especially the bit about commenting after others *sigh*

Great post! (lol)

6:05 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

Whew, I'm glad I'm not a blogaholic. I can always quit blogging when I want to. Really, I could quit tomorrow... or next week... or a year from now, if I wanted to.

3:26 PM  
Blogger DLAK said...

Sister Hag, your best yet. All true, but we know blogging is much better then reality (dont we?)

7:08 PM  
Blogger Floridacracker said...

You nailed it! I catch myself mentally blogging while doing all kinds of mundane tasks. This was a very good post, well done!

9:00 PM  
Blogger blue2go said...

So true! Great post (many people ahead of me said exactly what I was going to say!)

9:43 PM  
Blogger mlwhitt said...

I can relate to 8. Your real life friends beg you not to use some embarrassing moment of theirs as a post topic. Ha Ha. But what kind of friend would you be if you didn't use good juicy info on your friends and family for entertaining others you don't know, ha ha.

1:39 AM  
Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Well lady, I'm sitting here prior to making coffee, prior even to getting dressed reading your blog. It sounds to me as if I have the condition you've outlined above. However, it's a condition I'm prepared to live with - why get all maudlin. Audioblog appears to be working more reliably again btw and the honeymoon, yes that's what I should be working on, is going splendidly.


10:20 AM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Ummm, 10)Great post.
Darn other commentors.
Hey, I could do a post on this..

11:12 AM  
Blogger Unga~Chunga said...

Ok I know I only have a minor addiction after reading your laundry list. Is this what I can expect as the cancer spreads? Already at work I struggle with the desire to check my G-mail - did anyone read my blog? I check the clock - aren't I due for a break soon - couldn't this be considered an early lunch? Maybe I shouldn't have my back to the door - no chance to for a quick exit. I too forget all those good post ideas that come to me during the work day. I can see there is an art to good blogging and you, my dear, are very good at it.

10:42 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Carol, you hit the nail on the head and out emerged all these symptoms. I am scared now!
But the dog holding his crotch is hilarious!!! And going to the grocery store so well equipped!!! Hahaha!!! You write so well!

4:47 AM  
Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

yeah, I just got the mini recorder. I think that has more to do with my sad memory than blogging.

8:17 AM  
Blogger Lizabeth said...

God I'm hopeless, i don't tell my friends I do it though, they just don't understand that blogging really IS cool. RainyPete nailed it too by the way!

How about finding quizzes to post, merely because you haven't posted in a bit and can't think of anything write about.

3:48 PM  
Blogger jon said...

Guilty, Your honor.

8:08 PM  
Blogger L said...

we're all such blog whores -- everything is fodder for a post :)

11:58 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

i was going to reply on this but rainy pete stole my lines. i tell you i just can not win.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

Owch. ;)
The truth hurts.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Swifty said...

It's official then, I'm not dedicated. I may pass for a blogger but only by virtue of having a site.

I think there are two sorts of people who blog and they each have access to different universes. The dedicated blogger, or blogophile, is privy to a rich and infinitely varied world of shifting colours and experiences. Whereas the ordinary blogger, or blog-standard sort, at best sees only shades of grey, commonalities, and ordinariness. He or she looks, and looks again, but sees nothing noteworthy.

It's a rare gift.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Sask 1 said...

I thought i was reading about myself.My god yes i am.Im a hopeless case.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Hick said...

Yes, to all. My blog is my homepage...how sad is that? How come comments are almost as hard as writing my own posts?

2:50 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

OMG...LOL I am guilty on all but one! I do have a teeny tape recorder just never thought of using it for blogging!

2:15 AM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

i guess you are not dedicated because now your blog has not been updated in 5 days carol.

6:04 AM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

You're a dedicated blogger if...

You've checked this blog eight times in the past two days, just knowing Carol has written something - and yet, when you discover she hasn't graced her page with new material, your day slowly, tragically, begins sucking.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Do you know how many of those apply to me?

Great list.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous colleen said...

I am sooo dedicated. I'm on the road juggling hardware and 20 different computers and my USB just got corrupted and I lost my last 7 days of writing...and I didn't give up. When my sister said, "I thought you weren't going to be blogging much since your own vacation." I answered that blogging is like taking pictures...everyone brings a camera on vacation, right? I like to write about it too...that's all. I feel like were all a bunch of Lois Lanes! Great fun post.

3:03 PM  
Blogger lilly05 said...

Yes, I can see the signs and symptoms. My own sweet RCS spent many minutes on the computer during our Honeymoon and I sadly cannot fault him all that much as I was thinking in the quiet recess of my brain "God, will you hurry up so I can check my e-mail and read some of these blogs?". Once again Carrol, you have mannaged to hit the nail on the head!! Thanks for the laugh.


4:56 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Oh my, oh my. You have it pegged perfectly!

I am guilty of: 1 - 3, 5, 6 a & b, 7, 9, 10, 11 (really hopeless), 15, 16, 18 - 20, 22-25.

Yeah. It's bad. And the guilt of not being able to blog all that often - kills me.

Carol, I love your posts. You never cease to amaze me with your writing and ideas.

1:56 AM  
Blogger Wirthy said...

When the advertising on my blog generates even 5 cents, I get excited like I made a million bucks.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Janette said...

Interesting! I arrived here from a blog that put up a story about some bloggers fired from their jobs!

10:37 PM  
Blogger Roger Owen Green said...

Being a packrat, never throwing things away: nirvana for this blogger.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Zelda Parker said...

I used to excercise in the morning now I am at the computer looking to see what friends have written. I am still a novice yo the blog-o-sphere.

7:27 PM  
Anonymous web hosting provider said...

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9:05 AM  

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