July 27, 2005

Is There a Qualified & Humane Doctor In The House?

With the exception of a healthy pregnant woman, nobody ever really wants to go to a doctor. Bear this in mind as I let loose a long-time peeve of mine.

I’ve read several posts recently, written by people who had either been to the doctor or are in need of a visit to one. With the exception of one of these posts, I smelled fear … but not the type that stems from the great unknown … rather, the type that is evoked by a whip-toting, I-don’t-want-to-hear-your-excuses, self-absorbed physician.

I called my own doctor’s office a few weeks ago ~ not because I was ill but because I was instructed to do so by my pharmacist who couldn’t refill my prescription without permission. It was time to call the doc and spend $60 for him to tell me, as he apparently must (every six months), that I am doing well and should continue to take the exact same pills at the exact same dosage … but I digress.

A Small Dose of Humiliation

My doctor is pretty nice, actually. But even he, on occasion, will shoot me a condescending look much in the same way my father did if I acted up when I was six years old.

My point is this - we are paying (and dearly) for their services, their advice, their opinions ~ and often times ~ for their kids’ college education. We pay, they deliver. If they don’t deliver the goods, we should take our business elsewhere. Are you with me so far?

Why is it then, for some reason we allow them to humiliate, intimidate or insult us on occasion? I’m not in reference to the dreaded positive test results or good heavens, worse news. I’m referring to the “Hey, you haven’t been staying off the salt the way I told you to,” or “I thought you were going to try to lose some weight.” How about, “You MOVED that leg? I told you NOT to move that leg.”

My favorite is ~ “What do you MEAN you’ve stopped taking that pill that made you break out in hives and talk with a lisp? I TOLD you it will help build stronger bones!”

Doctors today seem to feel they have license to reduce us to slobbering, weepy, helpless tots any time we don’t do exactly what they “suggested.” They’ve also completely forgotten what the word “suggest” means. It’s not a command. We’re not in the armed forces, and even if we were, they haven’t any hash marks on their sleeves or gold stars pinned to their golf shirts.

We call an electrician when the wiring skips a beat. Imagine if he came to the house and looked over the top of his glasses at you scolding, “You went out and bought a new appliance? When were you going to consult me? Huh smartass? That’ll be $847 for today and I’ll be back tomorrow with the parts ~ IF you follow my instructions.” If you’re anything like me, you’d show him the door in a heartbeat … physically … loudly.

The plumber doesn’t walk in the door and have a hissy fit because your little one shoved his Tonka toy down the toilet. He gets down to the business of removing the obstacle, he collects his money (and your firstborn), and leaves. It’s really that simple.

I’m not done yet.
There’s yet another “doctor” issue brewing here.

Is He Smart or Is He Ain’t

Back in college, one of my professors reminded our class that doctors were first students, and they all cannot have graduated at the top of their class. When we submit a resume, we include our educational credentials. We sometimes even boast about awards, achievements, etc. We are chosen (or not), based on these credentials and prior experience.

Why is it then, that people don’t “interview” a doctor upon their initial visit? Think about it for a minute. Here is a man or woman, who you are likely to “hire” for the purpose of helping you to stay alive for cripes’ sake, and you don’t even know his class status. He could have just slid through med-school by the skin of his teeth. The pretty diplomas and degrees on the wall don’t tell you that he might have graduated 56th in his class of 60.

It would be nice to apply for a hoity toity position and get hired based on the look of your car (yellow pages ad), your suit (impressive office), or on the fact that you have a lot of buddies (patients). How cool would that be? We’ll never know ~ because it’s not realistic. Not for us, that is ~ only for doctors.

I’m still not done yet … but almost.

It’s Not His Area

Long gone are the days when you went to the family doctor (General Practitioner) for anything from a laceration to a stye; from an ulcer to a slipped disk. Nowadays, unless you have the flu or high blood pressure, chances are your doctor is going to send you to a specialist. What in the HELL is that?

It’s a vicious ploy, I tell you. If you’re very lucky, said specialists all share the same building and you only have to walk up four flights of stairs, three doors over and past the sun-filled, gilded mirror, indoor fountain atrium to get there. Otherwise, it’s a drive clear across town in maddening traffic.

Most doctors won’t even draw blood in their office anymore. They won’t go near urine and they’ll never set eyes on any of your x-rays. The lab folks get to have all that fun. So, like … what are they teaching in med-school these days anyway?

Who Tells Who What’s Wrong?

My final rant is the diagnosis. Can anyone tell me, for the love of all the pretty flowers in spring, why we have to self-diagnose? Isn’t that supposed to be some small part of what the exorbitant fee is all about?

Who hasn’t called a doctor’s office and been asked by the slow-witted phone secretary “What’s the problem?” It’s fine to offer symptoms, (though I feel symptoms would be best offered to the man who gets the money), but when they grill you to the point of telling them your potassium level and your white cell count, it gives me reason to pause.

I’ve tried giving standard responses ~ “I’m sick” “I don’t feel well” ~ but no, they want more. It should be crystal clear that if I’m eager to make an appointment with the man who is going to get a third of my paycheck at the end of my ten minute visit, I’m sick. Apparently, this never quite works its way into their brains. I have to first diagnose myself to death before they deem me worthy. Well pardon my prescription Latin but “Fuckeus thatium.”

When I go to the doctor, I want him to tell me what’s wrong… point me to the fix and assure me that it’ll be better in no time. THAT is what I’m paying him for. THAT is what he went to school to do. No more, no less. If he can’t fix it, he should be able to tell me who can. If nobody can, maybe he could suggest a reasonable funeral director. I’m not paying for attitude, and he doesn’t need to scold, embarrass, or warn me in nasty tones.

After all, that’s what we have mothers, traffic cops and priests for.


Blogger Sask 1 said...

I always feel like im wasting their time.You go in with a rash and told its only a rash it will go on its own.Well i dont know if its something catching and i dont want to infect everyone.Doctors offices always remind me of the principals office at school.Like i shouldnt really be there.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

The blood pressure prescription refill is my favorite. I have to make an appointment, go in, pay him for an office visit... just so he can tell me I still need BP medicine. Duh...

It's a racket. But hey, at least I like my doctor, he's a good guy with a good disposition - and that's why I chose him.

Another great piece. Superiorius writeium.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Carol...my vision is blurred from laughter..... I can remember a guy coming into the waiting room, and the nurse asking "...and whats wrong with you?" He said "I have a problem with my penis!" ....snickers all round the other patients. A furious tirade from the nurse "You cant come in here and say things like THAT!... you should go out, come back in, and say 'Theres something wrong with my ear!'" He walked out, returned 30 seconds later, and the nurse repeated her earlier question "What seems to be the problem?" He replied "Theres something wrong with my ear." She smiled smugly, and asked, "... and what seems to be the problem with your ear? He grinned all round the waiting room, and declared "I CANT PISS OUT OF IT!"
Paybacks can be a b*tch... :)) :)) from Kev... the cool blue one

11:59 AM  
Blogger The Other Half said...

kev...that was great!!! i think i just laughed so hard i somehow managed to make pee come out my ear!

12:22 PM  
Blogger lilly05 said...

I have made it my policy to NOT take any crap from any doctor. I am sick to death of patients who refuse to second guess the almmighty doc and end up with an undiagnosed problem that is killing them while the dr in his/her righteous superiority treats the symptoms and ignores the underlying pathology. I make it a routine part of my daily patient assessments to ask the patient about their care and to recomend a better doc or to simply remind them that the Doctor WORKS FOR YOU, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!! My advise.....FIRE HIM/HER. Doc's is a dime a dozen my friends and they're not all that smart, see: ditzy office nurse. You can pretty much gauge the intelligence of the doc in question by his/her office staff. If you are approached by a bottle blond with hair stacked into the stratosphere, hoop earrings that look like doorknockers and a breast augmentation that threatens to overbalance her with every step, it's a sure bet she aint there because of her intelligence or medical experience!!! Wow this turned into a regular post...sorry! ;)

12:27 PM  
Blogger Rainypete said...

My doc is alright, he understands that if he treats em like a four year old I'll tell him off and walk out whether I have a lethal condition or not.

It's our pediatrician that pisses me off. If I call 'cause th elittle on eis not doing well he tells us to come on down. I take time off work and wrangle and obviously sick, and very grumpy, two year old into the car and off to their office only to be told not to worry, it'll run its course on its own. Why the hell did I have to go through all that so you could tell me to leave it alone!!?!?

1:00 PM  
Blogger Grant said...

An anecdote I read claimed one man told his doctor's receptionist that 50% of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously and demanded to know from where he got his statistics.

I don't have a doctor, but my dentist is lovely and talented and not the least bit condescending which is why I am in love with her. I wouldn't care for her if she was patronizing or arrogant. Maybe she just hasn't yet learned to adopt that attitude as a defense mechanism.

1:37 PM  
Blogger dan said...

I'm lucky my doctor is cool.

I just walk in and he asks how long I want my next sick note for.

1:41 PM  
Blogger annush said...

i actually felt really bad for my doctor on my initial visit. I can tell that she wasn't prepared for the questions i made her answer. Hell, I brought a note pad with me!
The way I look at it, anyone who has the power to stick needles in my arms (or anywhere else for that matter) needs to pass "THE TEST".

2:37 PM  
Blogger Tabor said...

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. I have no MD's in my immediate family (darn). But I truly think some of the problems with the medical profession such as referrals to specialists have to do with the huge malpractice premiums the insurance companies milk from doctors. If our govt. would do a study on the number of valid malpractice lawsuits and correlate with insurance premium increases, this could be an eyeopener! Having said this, I have changed doctors proactively when I was not happy with the quality of service I got. I am prejudiced toward male doctors...I know it is wrong...but two female docs I had kept putting their family and kids first. DO NOT NEED that.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Wicked H said...

Standing Ovation from me Weary Hag. I have been working for Docs for the past almost 20 years, also have them in my family.

I won't defend them to you, I will simply bow down.

Mind if I print this one out and anonymously place a copy on each Docs desk at work?

I think will....

5:47 PM  
Blogger TSBAllStars3 said...

Never really thought of it that way. You make a lot of great points.

I am lucky and young enough that sleep, OJ, and a lot of water usually take care of most of my problems. That and getting off my ass and staying active.

Now the military doctors are a whole different story. They like to make things up just to keep people coming to their office. They also like to threaten your career if you don't bow down and kiss their boots too. Suggestions might as well be direct orders. You are either going follow their "suggestions" or not get paid. Anyone see a choice there? But at the same time it was my choice to get into the military in the first place. So I will just shut up and color.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

i have tried the interview approach with doctors without much success.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Rob Seifert said...

You make me glad I abandoned the medical school plan! I agree, doctors can be S N O O T Y! I think many are not very happy people. One of the things I looked at when I abandoned the idea of being a doc was the fact that I was going to have 8yrs of school and 3yrs of 90hr weeks before I could look forward to being told by HMOs how and with what I could treat my patients all the while paying half of my vaunted salary to malpractice insurance. It takes a special person to look all of that in the eye and stay friendly and not assume the world owes you something. There are good docs out there, ones with heart enough to treat people like people and stand up to the insurance companies but they are few and far between and getting fewer.


8:39 PM  
Blogger Alisa said...

Hah! What's worse is when you really do think you're dying of any number of diseases and your doctor agrees with you!

Actually I said, "I'm either dying or I'm going crazy"

He agreed and ran every test he could think of and came back and said, "Well you're not dying."

8:58 PM  
Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

I couldn't resist: Here's a little glimpse of my doctor -- a great guy, but a little talky.


9:56 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

very good post carol.they give me a pain in the butt some times. i love the line, what do you think you have? do i look like the doctor here. some times you can tell by their questions that they know very little and that is when i walk out. have a good one.

12:12 AM  
Blogger ERL said...

i totally agree. and must add that it makes it 100% worse that the insurance bullshit is added in on top.

1:31 AM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

What a wonderful post, Hag. Such great points, all.

It's like that joke: What do you call the guy who graduated last in his medical school...?


2:53 AM  
Blogger Pete B said...

Well, now. Public health systems may have some serious flaws, but at least we all (theoretically) have access to the same basic level of care.

Resisting the temptation to really go off on one here; suffice it to say that I sometimes feel that I pay far too much tax for the level of public service we get, but would be happy to pay more if we had better public health and a proper, effective public transport system.

As usual, people are so greedy and self centred that they can't seem to see past the end of their own noses today, let alone consider tomorrow; at the current rate we'll soon end up with a similar system to the US. And (based on what little I know) to my mind that is NOT acceptable. Grrr.

5:03 AM  
Blogger Pete B said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:03 AM  
Blogger Pete B said...


Sorry Carol, first I posted a comment and it appeared twice. Then I deleted one, refreshed and they had both disappeared - so I reposted - then there were 2 again!


5:13 AM  
Blogger blue2go said...

Everything you have written--so true, unfortunately. I had a prescription that was causing horrible side effects and the doctor told me to just keep taking it for another couple of weeks to see if it would finally kick in! Like SHE would keep taking something that made her dizzy, vomiting all day and barely able to drive or go to work? Not, I threw them all away! What a waste of money.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Nick Ward said...

What a fabulous and true post!

Here in England, I guess we have it easy -we have the NHS, but agreeing with Pete B, we pay far too much tax for what little we get.

Yes, you're right about Docs not wanting to actually do anything besides refer you to a specialist. I was on a waiting list to see one for over a year. I finally got an appointment, so went along, saw him. He diagnosed me (no, trust me, you really don't want to know!), and then told me that I'd have to wait another year, at least to get treatment. His excuse? Lack of funding!

Hang on, our government has apparently DOUBLED spending in the health service. Where has all this cash gone? Its gone to buy yet more computers for yet more " healthcare managers" to write up yet more bullsh*t meetings, propsals and 'targets' in Word7.


10:06 AM  
Blogger Becky said...

I love your posts! I don't work with doctors, but I do work with a lot of injured people and occasionally hear their horror stories.

One client had a doctor read her x-rays and tell her there was nothing wrong and accuse her of faking. The lady had several broken vertebra in her back.

One client had a very serious cervical disc operation that put rods and plate and pins and small appliances in his neck. At his last check-up, the doctor was so pre-occupied that he just sat and told the client about what a bad day he was having. Several days later a nurse at that office called the client to see if he knew what the next step in his treatment was.

Just this week, I had a client call and relay some really horrible things her doctor had said to her at an appointment. The poor girl cried for 2 days.

Maybe what I hear is part of the reason I don't go to the doctor unless I'm bleeding out of my eyeballs.

10:19 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

My doctor isn't actually a doctor, she's a physician's assistant and I love her. She's about 10 years older than me, she's funny, she isn't arrogant (will actually consult a book to make sure she's prescribing the right dosage instead of just writing something down), she asks me how I am doing and actually listens.

My sister came in to an appointment with me and was amazed at how Deb walked in the room and started talking about things that had happened over two years ago without even looking at my chart. My co-pay is $30 a visit but it's worth it.

But the receptionist thing? Yeah, that is annoying.

11:37 AM  
Blogger L said...

I suppose I'm pretty lucky - my doctor is great, although it is a bit weird that she's slightly younger than I am... I always expected doctors to be elderly for some reason...

6:57 PM  
Blogger Karl Childers said...

My doctor diagnosed me with moderately severe Tourette syndrome until he realized my repeating of the word "ass-wipe" was in reference to him and not an arbitrary outburst.

6:57 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

I can't STAND that general practitioners don't treat patients anymore. It drives me nuts that everything is referred to a specialist.

I'm not a huge doctor fan and I haven't seen one in a long time. I doctor my kids myself. It's all done with the old remedies. They work and I will NOT pay a doctor to tell me that my kid has a cold and to buy some crap over the counter.

I once asked my daughters pediatrician (we were there for another reason) to see if he could take out a splinter that I just coudln't seem to get out of her hand. He did and charged the insurance company $60!!!!! I never went back to him again.

Oh...I'm getting MAD!

8:09 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

OHHh Carol, you brought up some sore points! I am fortunate to have a wonderful doctor, he's so wonderful you can't get in to see him when your ill, there is a 6 week waiting list!
Loved this post :)

8:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great topic. I rarely see doctors...having had some bad early experiences, but on the handful of occassions that I have (for my sons when they were young as well), I often felt that I had to tell them what we had. For example my son once had boils on his legs. I knew they were boils but the doctor tried to tell me they were ant bites! I think we shouldn't blanketly accept what a doctor says. And it should be a working relationship...not a heirarchial one. The doctor isn't God....just another resource for more information to weigh. Like teachers, some are good and are just in the wrong profession.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PS that was Colleen. You're comment box isn't giving me an option to leave my name. Wonder if it's your site or my computer acting up.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Colleen, I don't think it's a "me" problem because I am here now and do have the option ~ though someone else mentioned this to me the other day as well. Perhaps it's just another of Blogger's mishaps?

11:14 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Good post.

I remember the time my mother had surgery for her pancreatic cancer at UC San Francisco by one of the top surgeons in the country. When the surgery was over (it was unsuccessful, but we knew chances were slim going into the surgery), he took my father and I out into the main entryway to this very busy hospital to tell me that my mother was still going to die. I guess he thought that I wouldn't fall to the floor sobbing if I was in such a public place. He brought along two interns to observe my behavior as he relayed the news to me. Jerk.

11:15 AM  
Blogger sidcruise said...

So true everything you written we do encounter, also i believe there should be somekind of a yardstick to measure Doctors qualification....

I have heard so many cases of misdiagnosis and prescriptions....

3:08 PM  
Anonymous John said...

Excellent post Carol! My doctor has never charged me to call in a prescription. I'm referring to my "family doctor". Not my Cardiologist, whom is very very good about calling in scrips for my heart meds. But I totally agree with you, some doctors are just dicks, they act like you are scum and bothering them by asking for some of their time. Maybe we should do as you say, and interview them first! After all, we sometimes have the option of going elsewhere!

4:44 PM  
Blogger Swifty said...

You have a knack for knowing exactly what people like to hear. It's uncanny.

6:37 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

I agree. Doctors rock.
Oh,wait I just read your post. Doctors suck.
My Doctor is actually really good but I have had several crap ones in the past..

7:53 PM  
Blogger jon said...

My younger brother, my punk baby brother is now a doctor. While I'm proud of him, I still refuse to refer to him as doctor Aaron. To me he's still my goony kid brother.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

As a medical receptionist I can see both sides of the fence. Which is where I find myself perched at this moment lol

I love my own doctor, he's very cool. Never condescending, always listens to everything I tell him.

If I ever have to see one of the docs I work with, I generally want the appt to be over and done with in a hurry.


Me: I think I've got a chest infection...I'm coughing up yellow muck.
Richard: I'll need to have a listen to your chest.
Me: If you must, but I'm not taking any clothes off for you.
Richard: You're going to have to lift your shirt.
Me: Are you sure?? Just give me some antibiotics and I'll be on my way.
Richard: (after a wrestling match of me holding my shirt down and him trying to get it up) It's viral based, it needs to run it's course...no need for antibiotics.
Me: Aw shit...not again.

5:12 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Oooo, I just wrote a post on your post lol

5:13 AM  
Anonymous dq1874 said...

Hi Carol,
This brilliant post is no surprise. You nailed it. I can't post about this or I'd come down with yet another mysterious ailment, that I self-diagnosed.Unfortunately, I'm not kidding even though I think of myself as healthy. (No jokes about denail ;)

(Have you been in my files?? On the next sardine cart in pre or post-op? Something tells me you have a file as long or longer...) Well, I owe you email or 2. Will do soon. I freeze up thinking it must be penned w/ flair and finesses- fizzle I can do.

8:49 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

Just once I want to tell the doc, "Hey, my not wanting a prostate exam isn't my being a baby. To prove my point, after you check my prostate, I'm going to have my frind Bruno, with a finger that takes a ring size of 21, to check yours. Don't worry, Bruno has just gotten out of prison and has had lots of practice..." Somehow I think the screaming to follow would help so many bad memories to heal...

5:03 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Tell it like it is, sister! The whole system needs a overhaul.

12:30 AM  
Blogger Santanu said...

I recently met an elderly practitioner who admitted that if all patients were obidient like school children, doctors would be so much poorer.
So true, and perhaps at his age, he could afford to admit! :)

3:45 AM  
Blogger midwest_hick said...

My doctor thinks I'm a nutcase...and usually gets ittitated...somewhat.....because I mock him as a Perry mason look-alike

10:34 PM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

I guess I have been lucky. In the UK we had a crochety [sic] old woman of a doctor who was great. Never condescending or one for the whips and guilt trips. If she was unsure of anything she would just zip you off to the hosiptal for further tests. A sad day when she passed on.

Here in the States the doctor we have is also great, she isn't as old as my old doctor but she is understanding and has a great bedside manner, never makes you don't feel talked down too.


11:45 PM  
Blogger Lyvvie said...

So much wisdom!

We had an excellent doctor with a wicked sense of humor. I once brought a 10 month old Sassy-Face to him when she was siffering (And so were we) with a sloppy cough. I was a wreck imagining whooping cough, or asthma or somthing horrible.

After telling him all the symptoms and suffering he asked me; "And how does she smoke per day?"

I nearly swallowed my tongue trying to consider his question and come up with an answer. I stopped taking things so seriously after that.

As always an excellent post!

2:49 AM  
Blogger Walker said...

I have a very good doctor and he takes me on at the drop of a dime. We have gotten a little closer since my first ass poke.
When Sara was needind a doctor he took right away and the charge was $30 as compared to the $500 the hospital charged her and didn't do the job right.
We also dont pay for the doctor here or need health insurance.

3:55 AM  
Blogger Debbi said...

I took my six-year-old to the doctor, and just to make conversation with her, Doc asked "What do you think is wrong?" My daughter responded, "Maybe I'm sick."

7:30 PM  
Blogger Leah Bennet said...

I loved this post. I've been dealing with doctors for over 30 years as a nurse...on the regular floor...in the ICU...in their office. When I was a little baby nurse, they made me cry. However, as I grew in nursing, I then learned to grovel. (Many nurses do that to get around humongous egos and get the patient what they really need.) I'll still do that as a last resort, but now, I just look 'em in the eye. They don't like being treated as an equal.

Also...make sure you are being taken care of as you ought to be.

Carol...you are a hoot.

1:49 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

I think it's to do with calling them GODS which they take too seriously! And actually start behaving like they WERE god!

11:19 AM  
Blogger brooksba said...


You've pointed out all of the reasons why people don't trust doctors anymore. And then when you do get the diagnosis, everyone seems to want to say, "Get a second opinion." Oh yeah, that sounds like fun. I do agree we should interview our doctors and hire them.

I have health insurance and it doesn't cost more than about $30 to go to the doctor, but I still don't go. My mom always taught a bit of self-diagnosis. It was, "Do you actually need medicine to get better, or will just rest do it?" If it was the latter, I didn't go. I always feel like the doctor is upset I'm wasting his/her time (because I don't get the same one ever - that's the joy of clinics).

My grandmothers have something in common and it has been passed onto the rest of the family. Each managed to break their necks during their lives. And each waited over thirty years before a doctor ever knew about it. I'd probably visit a doctor over a broken neck, but it's yet to be proven.

Great post and sorry for the delay in catching up.

3:25 PM  
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