November 23, 2005

Little Letters (Part II)

Dear Mrs. P,

I’m sorry I left you hanging out to dry that night you picked me up to baby-sit for your children. I know how much you and your husband were looking forward to the opera, but when we got to your house and you informed me that all three kids were vomiting all day long with the flu, my phobia kicked in and I just had to beat tracks out of there. I never could handle watching people barf.

I do think you should have been ashamed of yourself for even thinking about leaving those sick kids in the care of a young teenager while you went clear across the harbor to hear music. Even a very young me thought it quite disturbing.

Not-so-fondly … Weary Hag

Dear Father “C” ,

I know you’re dead now but remember that time when you screamed up the church aisle at my sister and me because we had the audacity to light a candle for our sickly grandmother and we didn’t put any money into the tin box? Well your little scene profoundly contradicted everything you ever preached to us on Sundays, not to mention the fact that it left a terribly nasty taste in the mouths of those little girls about your organization for many, many years after. Jerk!

A disgruntled excommunicant … Weary Hag
Dear red-haired nurse,

You were wrong back in 1976 when you told me you were just doing your job. Sitting up with me through the night and chatting with me to take my mind off my anguish when you should have already been home and sleeping was way above and beyond your call of duty. Had I not been so young and unknowing back then, I would have written one heck of a letter of commendation to your superiors … but I couldn’t step beyond myself at the time. Hopefully by now you are long-since retired and enjoying marvelous health and good fortune.

Eternally grateful … Weary Hag
Dear Ira and George Gershwin,

Thanks for all the wonderful music you have added to my life! “Embraceable You” was always a favorite and in fact, became my signature song for a time. Don’t worry … I did you proud.

I often wish I had lived during your era. The only thing I can do to repay you for your wonderful works is to pass on the word that those were the days when lyrics and melody truly seemed married to one another. The good news is that people like Linda Ronstadt, Rod Stewart, Diana Krall and Queen Latifah are making every attempt to keep all that neat music alive.

Forever thankful … Weary Hag
Dear slouch who stole my tip jar,

I hope you choked on your slippery nipple (cocktail name) that night. You know, I worked very long hours and made excellent money back then – but you couldn’t know that. That money could have meant my next meal for all you knew – you dirtbag.

What goes around comes around. I hope you’ve developed cirrhosis of the liver by now and are left to sit in some lonely, flea-ridden hotel room thinking about all the mean things you’ve done all your life. I’ll be looking for you in hell and I won’t be frail, skinny, OR timid. Just saying.

Ever so sincerely … Weary Hag
Dear Aunt “B”,

I know everyone in the family always thought you were a total loser, bordering on insanity. You were the skeleton in our family closet for years and I just want you to know I feel you got a bum rap. Your siblings were all so much older than you and they simply didn’t appreciate your different and unique approach to things. True, you eventually chose to live in the ferry terminal between jobs, but I think it was no more than a self-fulfilled prophecy on the part of your sibs.

If people tell someone they are a whacked out nutjob all of their life, I think that person might finally start to believe it to be true. I’ve seen pictures and heard stories about you when you were younger and you were quite pretty, shapely, talented and bright. I think your biggest problem was in paying more attention to the family than the voices in your head – which were probably much kinder! Poor you.

Your niece … WH
Dear JB,
Sitting in your classroom and learning Sign Language were some of the happiest moments I can recall. It wasn’t just the learning part, it was the teaching process that you used; that’s what made it such a marvelous challenge! You refused to speak to us from the moment you walked in the room until class ended. You forced us to think, try and fail, and eventually to succeed. How clever.

Of course, after years of non-use, a lot of what I learned escapes me now … but it’s still a bit of a thrill to watch someone “speaking” the language and to be able to glean bits and pieces from what they are signing.

You never let the fact that you played such an important role in the making of “Children of a Lesser God” (and had a bit part in it) get in the way of being such a wonderful teacher and a lovely friend.

With much gratitude … WH
Dear supermarket bagger,

I know you’d rather be out riding your skateboard and I don’t even blame you for that – but since someone is paying you to do a job, could you try to act interested? Pssst … eggs break and bread smushes. These items would be best kept to the top of the bag.

Also, incase you haven’t noticed, (which you did because you give me that ‘oh crap, another old lady’ look every time), I’m 50. From the looks of me, you could probably guess I don’t power lift or run marathons. Could you keep the weight of the bags down to about 30 pounds or so?

Just think of it this way … would you rather get clocked with a lightweight bag or a can-laden one? Because that’s what might happen next time you stand there humming “When I’m Sixty-Four” while bagging my stuff.

Meaning business … WH
Dear blog friends and readers,

In the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your kindness, your humor, your inspiration and your encouragement!

Without you it wouldn’t be the same. Oh I would still write because I just can’t help myself, but it would be such a quiet world without all of your wonderful voices in it.

I’m working diligently on getting a book into print. It keeps me busy and off the streets, but it’s also more time consuming than I had realized. Hopefully, when all is said and done I will have more time to interact – which is something I truly look forward to!

In the meantime, know that your posts, your readership and your comments have truly been cherished and I’m ever so grateful!

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow countrymen, and to those in far away places, enjoy the rest of your week!


"There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy" (Ralph H. Blum)


Blogger Courtney said...

Congrats on your book endeavor! I look forward to it. Also, thanks for the laugh of the day: "Meaning business..." I don't know why it struck me as so funny this morning--maybe it's because I am "meaning business" today and can appreciate the frustration behind the words.

Write on, WH!

10:17 AM  
Blogger Wicked H said...

Dear Weary Hag:

Thank you for allowing us to share in your extreme talent.

Happiest of Thanksgivings to you and yours.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Divine Calm said...

You are such a sweety and a wonderful writer! Hugs!

10:54 AM  
Blogger Bekah said...

I love your little letters!

Good luck with the book, and let us know of the progress.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Floridacracker said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

12:01 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Gotta love these, I couldn't possibly comment on each and everyone of them though, that'd mean a post in your comments. (I've a feeling I might have said that on your last letters one, but it's true! lol)

I love the "meaning business", that just about had me spitting my mocca at the screen lol

Have a lovely thanksgiving Carol. (And when that book gets published, be sure to let us know...they'll be reprinting it before you know it!)

12:53 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Ooh! A book! I am so excited! As you might have been able to tell by all the exclamation points!

Loved the letters.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Grant said...

I've been called a whacked-out nutjob and loser all my life, but I refuse to let it get to me. Some people appreciate what I have to offer, AND THE REST WILL FECKIN' PAY! BURN, PIGS, BURN!!!

And Happy Thanksgiving to you.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

These were cleansing to read. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2:29 PM  
Anonymous John said...

Ooooooh I want your book when it's done Carol! I was cracking up at the comment on the kid smushing your bread and eggs. Punk! How rude! :)

5:18 PM  
Anonymous kathy said...

Oh Carol! Recapitulation via letters! Your post pleasantly reminded me of how very soul cleansing that can be and also made me think of letters I should be writing to people who were/are important to me. One, to my aunt Gerty, who was a love, but like your aunt, got thought of as someone other than who she really was. She never married due to a broken heart, which I think speaks to what changed her outward presentation. She loved kids though and we knew it. I wish I told her more often. And two, I thought of the time a party of five stole my money. After a delightful meal and a good time had by all, because of the good service and cheerful waitress (me), I'll never get over how they left the restaurant with my 100 dollar bill. That's right...I took it out of my pocket to make change, and then stupidly left it on the table instead of putting in back in my apron. I was in the minus that night by $45.00 when it came time to cash out. Since they were the last party that night I knew it was them, and I actually heard them say, "shall we give it back to her?" But I didn't know until after they left, to what they were referring. Another letter could also go out to Mr. Provo, the first teacher I ever had who inspired my love for knowledge. He was made fun of because of a speech impediment...but darn, did he know how to inspire.
BTW, apologies are due. I haven't been around here too much lately (time restraints) but I certainly will try to do better.
Kathy, who is thanking you for this one and hoping you have a happy and thankful day tomorrow.

11:11 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

More good writing! I am with you on the supermarket bagger; I nearly clocked mine today after I asked for paper bags and got plastic (without noticing until it was too late).I am also with you on the Gershwins. I love every piece of music they ever wrote, especially Rhapsody in Blue.

Happy Thanksgiving, Carol!

12:16 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Happy Turkey Day Carol, to you and your family :)
Loved your letters,i swear if your ever looking for a change of scenery........
Congrsts on the book, look forward to hearing more about it :o)

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Simply Coll said...

I think it is wonderful that you are actually writing a book. I am always amazed at how the words in your stories flow making for an easy read and much entertainment.
Way to go girl!!

Wishing you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving.

2:22 AM  
Anonymous pallavi said...

I would love to read your book and happy holidays.. :)

i love reading the letters you write.. :) nice way to walk down memory lane..

5:27 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Keep on writing WH!

7:53 AM  
Blogger madcapmum said...

That was good for a few giggles, Carole. I like this format you're using. Happy Thanksgiving, even if you poor souls in the U.S. don't know that Thanksgiving was actually in October! ;-).

8:18 AM  
Blogger sidcruise said...

You know what I was about to ask whether you are writing a book or no (for you it shouldnt be a problem as you have such great command over language and elicting emotions from readers)...finally I got my much awaited answer...

My best bet is that the book will be Non-fiction...when we can expect the book to be out?

Happy thanksgiving!!

12:12 PM  
Blogger the Monk said...

looking forward to ur book..what's it abt? or is that to be a will come out in india, won't it?have a great holiday...make it an international always, great post...

1:55 PM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Happy Thanksgiving. And it is you that are the inspiration to bloggers like me, not the other way around..

11:42 PM  
Blogger Bill Jones, Jr said...

WH - If your book isn't a collection of these letters, then consider it for a follow-on book. If not yours, then stories you collect.

I honestly think you'd have a Bestseller (the real kind, not the author self-promotion kind).

12:00 AM  
Blogger MYSTIC said...

Carol, I am so thrilled that you are finally writing a book. I don't thrill easily. In fact I usually don't use the word thrill in a you've made an impact. Write baby Write..but laugh as you do. Secondly a note about Aunt B. We become what people say we are...So be careful what you say or call someone. I agree with you, there was a wonderful person there. Shame on anyone who thought or said she was less than what she was...they deserve a nasty gram. Hope your THANKSGIVING was Blessed. And I will relight a candle in remebrance of your Grand Ma the next time I'm in church. Just so you know that it will burn next to my Grand Ma's. I'm even contemplating not paying in honor of Father C. That'll teach him.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Wenchy said...


10:37 AM  
Blogger psuche said...

Happy Thanksgiving Carol!

3:16 PM  
Blogger brooksba said...

Happy Thanksgiving Carol! Great post, as always, and I'm eagerly awaiting when I can purchase your book. I've been excited for months and months for this.

3:23 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

happy thanksgiving carol. great post as usual. i made an audio post today and then i tried to add some text to the post along with the audio and i managed to erase the audio. not to swift of me. have a great day and a better year.

1:14 AM  
Blogger lilly05 said...

Carol, I too had a great prof. fpr ASL. Her name is Jo and she has been deaf since she was three. It made a difference to see the language from her perspective. I have probably lost most of my ability to use ASL, but like most things if you don't use it you lose it! thanks for the trip down memory lane. :)

2:47 AM  
Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you Lady! Gratitude is often undervalued. Thanks for sharing yours!


11:25 PM  
Blogger Puggyspice said...

Yet another amazing post! Thank you for sharing these. I especially loved the letter to your aunt who heard voices. Probably very true that she wasn't as insane as people painted her.

11:38 PM  
Blogger Spider Girl said...

I'm looking forward to your book..and again, I love your little letters. :)

I remember my sign language class with fondness too, by the way. It was too bad that the only person I could really practice it on (an actual deaf person) did not speak ASL but a Jamaican dialect of sign language. Oh well, we were pretty good at charades together.

Which was good because he was mute but had all these really good stories to share---like the time he was diving and met a shark: sometimes you don't need perfect sign language skills to get the message across.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

I SO owe you for the entertainment this year. It's one of the many things for which I am thankful. Another is your friendship - thanks so much Carol!

1:14 AM  
Blogger dan said...

great posts and interesting reading.

carol, my email is acting the ned.

i got your last email, but there seems to be a problem with aol accepting mail from lycos at the moment.

i've written three snotty letters to aol.

take care

6:09 AM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Great little letters again.Also belated Happy Thanksgiving to you.

10:47 AM  
Blogger dulciana said...

Ah, Gershwin! Happy belated Thanksgiving from a fellow fan.

7:03 PM  
Blogger sideshow bob said...

Good luck with the book! All these letters could probably be fashioned into a little tome, there's not a stinker in the bunch.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

I enjoyed reading more little letters. My ASL teacher was terrific! She was deaf from a very young age and so enthusiastic about teaching us in adult education. (I learned my 18th summer and later owe it all to her for being able to sign jokes that hearing impaired people truly laughed at.)

Your writing is so engaging here, I can only imagine how much joy reading your book will bring!

5:25 AM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

OOps: forgot to add that those songs are our favorite to dance to and many to listen, too. We've been kidded numerous times for being the youngsters when we go dancing at places where the average age is 35 years older than us! I hope to be that lithe then.

5:27 AM  
Blogger katie said...

Keep me updated about the book!
Thank you for writing wonderful, entertaining, and thought provoking posts. I enjoy stopping by here, and look forward to what you have to say.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Jezzy said...

dThis list of letters was a fantastic read! I enjoyed it immensely. x

8:24 PM  
Blogger EDS said...

Been a while. Hope all is well...
Love the letters. Very Intriguing. Keep it up...

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What happened to your Aunt B.? I'm the Aunt B in my family, though I'm the oldest not youngest. That was a nice tribute to read. I have a nephew who thinks I'm great, tells me how important I am to him. But, the rest of them... Sometimes it's weird being on the Internet where no one knows anything about me really. I don't read a lot of blogs cause I don't want to look at other people's lives too much. Reading complaints or happy stories about family and kids just makes me feel empty.

I'm leaving this as anonymous cause I don't want anyone to know who I am. It was that or delete it. :)

10:23 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Dear Anonymous ...
The thing I've found about families is that we tend to hold them in such tremendously high esteem when we're little (depending upon them greatly) that as we grow older, we forget that we are strong individuals who can also make it quite nicely without them; in fact, sometimes we could be much better off without some of them.
It's a shame you feel empty reading about other's close-knit families - try to just enjoy the stories as stories and not relate them to your own self. Some of the stories are rather nice to read. I know what you mean though.
I'm going to guess you're a rather strong person in your independence.
My aunt distanced herself from the family years ago and moved about so much so that we couldn't keep track anymore. Last I knew, she was married and living in Brooklyn, NY. VERY poor but healthy as hell. I just feel badly for her. I think she deserved more emotional support from the family.
Even if she had issues, who doesn't?

5:50 AM  

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