Little Letters (Part II)

Dear Mrs. P,

I’m sorry I left you hanging out to dry that night you picked me up to baby-sit for your children. I know how much you and your husband were looking forward to the opera, but when we got to your house and you informed me that all three kids were vomiting all day long with the flu, my phobia kicked in and I just had to beat tracks out of there. I never could handle watching people barf.

I do think you should have been ashamed of yourself for even thinking about leaving those sick kids in the care of a young teenager while you went clear across the harbor to hear music. Even a very young me thought it quite disturbing.

Not-so-fondly … Weary Hag

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Dear Father “C” ,

I know you’re dead now but remember that time when you screamed up the church aisle at my sister and me because we had the audacity to light a candle for our sickly grandmother and we didn’t put any money into the tin box? Well your little scene profoundly contradicted everything you ever preached to us on Sundays, not to mention the fact that it left a terribly nasty taste in the mouths of those little girls about your organization for many, many years after. Jerk!

A disgruntled excommunicant … Weary Hag

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Dear red-haired nurse,

You were wrong back in 1976 when you told me you were just doing your job. Sitting up with me through the night and chatting with me to take my mind off my anguish when you should have already been home and sleeping was way above and beyond your call of duty. Had I not been so young and unknowing back then, I would have written one heck of a letter of commendation to your superiors … but I couldn’t step beyond myself at the time. Hopefully by now you are long-since retired and enjoying marvelous health and good fortune.

Eternally grateful … Weary Hag

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Dear Ira and George Gershwin,

Thanks for all the wonderful music you have added to my life! “Embraceable You” was always a favorite and in fact, became my signature song for a time. Don’t worry … I did you proud.

I often wish I had lived during your era. The only thing I can do to repay you for your wonderful works is to pass on the word that those were the days when lyrics and melody truly seemed married to one another. The good news is that people like Linda Ronstadt, Rod Stewart, Diana Krall and Queen Latifah are making every attempt to keep all that neat music alive.

Forever thankful … Weary Hag

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Dear slouch who stole my tip jar,

I hope you choked on your slippery nipple (cocktail name) that night. You know, I worked very long hours and made excellent money back then – but you couldn’t know that. That money could have meant my next meal for all you knew – you dirtbag.

What goes around comes around. I hope you’ve developed cirrhosis of the liver by now and are left to sit in some lonely, flea-ridden hotel room thinking about all the mean things you’ve done all your life. I’ll be looking for you in hell and I won’t be frail, skinny, OR timid. Just saying.

Ever so sincerely … Weary Hag

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Dear Aunt “B”,

I know everyone in the family always thought you were a total loser, bordering on insanity. You were the skeleton in our family closet for years and I just want you to know I feel you got a bum rap. Your siblings were all so much older than you and they simply didn’t appreciate your different and unique approach to things. True, you eventually chose to live in the ferry terminal between jobs, but I think it was no more than a self-fulfilled prophecy on the part of your sibs.

If people tell someone they are a whacked out nutjob all of their life, I think that person might finally start to believe it to be true. I’ve seen pictures and heard stories about you when you were younger and you were quite pretty, shapely, talented and bright. I think your biggest problem was in paying more attention to the family than the voices in your head – which were probably much kinder! Poor you.

Your niece … WH

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Dear JB,
Sitting in your classroom and learning Sign Language were some of the happiest moments I can recall. It wasn’t just the learning part, it was the teaching process that you used; that’s what made it such a marvelous challenge! You refused to speak to us from the moment you walked in the room until class ended. You forced us to think, try and fail, and eventually to succeed. How clever.

Of course, after years of non-use, a lot of what I learned escapes me now … but it’s still a bit of a thrill to watch someone “speaking” the language and to be able to glean bits and pieces from what they are signing.

You never let the fact that you played such an important role in the making of “Children of a Lesser God” (and had a bit part in it) get in the way of being such a wonderful teacher and a lovely friend.

With much gratitude … WH

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Dear supermarket bagger,

I know you’d rather be out riding your skateboard and I don’t even blame you for that – but since someone is paying you to do a job, could you try to act interested? Pssst … eggs break and bread smushes. These items would be best kept to the top of the bag.

Also, incase you haven’t noticed, (which you did because you give me that ‘oh crap, another old lady’ look every time), I’m 50. From the looks of me, you could probably guess I don’t power lift or run marathons. Could you keep the weight of the bags down to about 30 pounds or so?

Just think of it this way … would you rather get clocked with a lightweight bag or a can-laden one? Because that’s what might happen next time you stand there humming “When I’m Sixty-Four” while bagging my stuff.

Meaning business … WH

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Dear blog friends and readers,

In the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your kindness, your humor, your inspiration and your encouragement!

Without you it wouldn’t be the same. Oh I would still write because I just can’t help myself, but it would be such a quiet world without all of your wonderful voices in it.

I’m working diligently on getting a book into print. It keeps me busy and off the streets, but it’s also more time consuming than I had realized. Hopefully, when all is said and done I will have more time to interact – which is something I truly look forward to!

In the meantime, know that your posts, your readership and your comments have truly been cherished and I’m ever so grateful!

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow countrymen, and to those in far away places, enjoy the rest of your week!

Carol

"There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy" (Ralph H. Blum)