December 03, 2005

It's Hagtoid Time

Hagtoids, as some may recall, are factoids about Weary Hag.

My first installation was posted on May 19, 2005 and the second on June 6, 2005. I guess it’s about time to post the third.

Picking up where I left off:

65. I think velvet is pretty to look at, but I cannot stand to touch it. I get that fingernail-running-down-a-blackboard feeling all over if I do.

66. I love most veggies, but my favorites include farm fresh corn on the cob, spinach, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, sweet potato, artichoke, kidney beans, and chick peas.

67. I get such a kick out of listening to little kids trying to explain things and elderly people reminiscing.

68. When I’m not nice, I’m extremely not nice. I have a really hard time finding gray area when something truly twists my bra.

69. I would rather play a board game for hours with good company than go out to a movie or play.

70. Most of the many games in our house are word or phrase related (“creative” games). Monopoly can be fun for about thirty minutes; strategy games tend to annoy me after a short time. AND … I try not to keep score because – well – see next entry.

71. I am no good at all, under any circumstances whatsoever, with numbers. Mind you, I was an excellent cashier; my cash drawer was always dead-on, but I perceived those kinds of numbers as “money” instead. Don’t bother trying to tell me it’s the same concept. I hate math and will just get pissed off at you. No really, I will.

72. I don’t like to do dishes but I’d rather I did them than Ed because he really, really hates to do them and he’s such a good man. The only part of dishes that I cannot stomach is cleaning out the little sink drain when I’m done. Those soapy food particles just turn my stomach inside out. I usually ask him or SJ to take care of that.

73. I always have and probably always will love a hot-sounding muscle car. Notice I didn’t say hot “looking” because I don’t care if it needs paint – if it makes my chest rumble when it goes by – I am lovin’ it.

74. The first car I ever drove (and learned to drive on) was a fully worked ’69 GTO. I think I burned out three clutches but my grease monkey boyfriend back then didn’t seem to mind.

75. Dave Barry and Gary Larson were the first truly funny writers I ever paid any attention to – and I quickly became hooked on both (thanks to my dad pointing them out to me back in the early 70s).

76. One of the coolest quotes I’ve ever read and can no longer find anywhere online is “If I want to read a good book, I’ll write one.” I hate that I can’t cite it – I know I wasn’t dreaming – it wasn’t too long ago that I read this and it was spoken by someone everybody would be familiar with. **update** See Kathy's comment - she knew the quote! Also, see Kathy's blog! She has been a great inspiration to me.

77. Shel Silverstein is my favorite children’s author. His writings were so darned cute. He inspired me to write children’s stories; too bad inspiration is only half the battle.

78. I was the youngest of four girls yet I’m the tallest, the heaviest (now), the most congenial and for much of our adult lives, the poorest. I was also the only one who was bald till about two years old and then remained a blonde till now. The others had light colored hair as toddlers but it quickly turned to medium and dark brown.

79. My oldest sister was a Catholic nun for twelve years. She had to get the Pope’s permission to divorce God. Lucky for her, he kept the kids.

80. I wrote in chalk on the outside brick wall of our school building. I got caught by Sister Mary Rita and she made me walk to the convent with her and bring back a bucket of soapy water and a big brush. I didn’t mind this so much, but it really pissed me off when she made me scrub off the crap other kids had written as well. The next week, a friend and I went back and as I stood guard at the corner of the building, she drew a large, anatomically-exaggerated picture of Sister Mary Rita. Good times.

It's supposed to snow here in beautiful New England tomorrow morning. I don't know how this is possible but I truly look forward to, AND dread it at the same time.

Enjoy what's left of the weekend!

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education" (Mark Twain)


Anonymous Simply Coll said...

Those little bits of stuff in the sink drain really get to me also. I usually take out the whole drain and attempt to shake the contents into the garbage bag (with out looking or touching of course)

Enjoyed your Hagtoids :-)

I hope you get to enjoy a little snow tomorrow.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Kathy AKA Ben said...

# 76 'When I want to read a good book, I write one.' Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881, novelist and Prime Minister of Britain) I found it here: http:
// - I'm not familiar with the guy; good quote though, as are your Hagtoid's.
Kathy, who is rotten in math too.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Bill Jones, Jr said...

Hey, my very first car was a olive green '69 GTO. A very sweet ride. I used to like to smoke the rich kids in their new Z28's. I actually learned to drive in a brand new Firebird. I guess I was doomed from the start.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Floridacracker said...

Hey, this was neat! I'm with you on the fresh veggies, but would have to pick a movie over the boardgames. I go for the popcorn mostly...

12:02 AM  
Blogger Rob Seifert said...

Thanks for sharing with us a few more of those Hagtoids. It's fun getting to know a little more about you. I too am generally nice but once I'm done being nice, I can be quite unpleasant. Thankfully it takes more than a little prevokation to get me to that point. Comments were screwed up on this post for a while. Glad to see them back online.


12:49 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh, finally. I was so irritated at Blogger that I had to do a whole post about it and left my comment there. So now I will put it here.

I love hagtoids! Hagtoids are so cool!

I have a brown velvet shirt. I love it but can't wear it right now because it is a trifle (okay, more than a trifle) too small.

I thought I was the only person who liked Brussels sprouts. I adore them! They are like mini cabbages. I would rather eat vegetables than fruit.

I adore Scrabble and Scattegories. And yeah, I totally get you on the money/math are two completely different things. Except when I'm trying to figure out my checkbook.

Dave Barry is hilarious. Have you read his novels? Big Trouble makes me laugh hysterically every time I read it. And I love the movie as well. Gary Larson? As in The Far Side Gary Larson?

The Giving Tree still makes me cry every time I read it. I adore that book. Tomie DePaola is really good as well.

Snow is pretty but I still don't like it so yeah, I get it.

We have so much in common (well, except for the velvet thing). I can't wait until we meet IRL. I know Beth is looking forward to it as well.

1:15 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Love your Hagtoids! LMAO @79...Lucky her he kept the kids!! too funny!
I think i can relate to 68 also, when i'm nasty, i am NASTY! Shel Silverstein is a legend :o)

3:03 AM  
Blogger lilly05 said...

Thanks for the laugh, I really, really needed it! Your posts are always entertaining and thought provoking. So now I've got sink trap particles on the brain...thanks Carol. Laf Can't wait to read the next installment.

3:10 AM  
Blogger brooksba said...


I love your Hagtoids. Just brilliant.

Without wanting to admit it, the sound of a great muscle car is something that makes me shake in my boots. It's probably a throw-back to my years in high school and the boys I hung out with, but oh, how wonderful.

79 - Made me chuckle a good hearty chuckle. Awesome. I love that God was able to keep the kids. =)

Best of luck with the snow. Any chance you'll be running out to buy a scraper any time soon? (Hee hee.)

4:39 AM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

GTOs rocked! Would love to have had one. Still fantasizing about a 68 Camero...

great stuff, I am with you on most of it, but not the velvet. That's a little freaky.

games, love 'em, especially the word games. Scrabble and Boggle are my favs, although I adore balderdash too. Would rather play them than go to the movies too, much more fun to have spirited conversation and laughter around the board.

great post, enjoyed it as always

5:14 AM  
Blogger "AG" said...

I'm with you. I WILL go ghetto on any turd that dares to cross me, but in a refined Park Avenue kind of way. Paradoxical? Yes. Possible? Probable.

7:08 AM  
Blogger The Other Half said...

as always...very cool

11:21 AM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Liked the Hagtoids.
If I need inspiration on my writing I always come here first. Your writing is just so good.
Unfortunately reading good writing and writing good writing are not necessarily transferable skills, tee,hee..

12:11 PM  
Blogger bozette said...

Boy you and me sound almoat a like.
But I like the feel of velvet.

It snowed here in Wis"cow"son yesturday got about 4 inches. Took pictures of the Kids playing in it. Posted them on my blog.
They had a great time.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Bekah said...

Ew. Brussel sprouts make me want to shrivel up and die. Maybe that's a bit extreme, but I'd rather empty out the soggy, soapy food in the sink drain every day than ever eat brussel sprouts again.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

The mere mention of velvet makes my step son recoil in torturous anguish. He doesn't even have to feel it.

My problem is wiping a dry paper towel on a dusty window. That makes the chills go right down the spine.

Funny, funny stuff.

9:11 PM  
Blogger PBS said...

I love the Hagtoids and that you've done another set of them! It's fun to compare and contrast, let's see: I love velvet and veggies, hate board games, love hot, fast cars. My first car was a Mustang Mach I. I dislike "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, as that poor tree chopped off all of her branches, a terrible example for kids! Your Hagtoids were so interesting that it's hard to stop! But that's enough for now.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Swathi said...

must begin by saying that I jus love that quote of Mark Twain...

n i luv Dave Barry too - i think we all have our whimsical sides to us n it takes a lot to put them down (like u did...)

12:57 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

Hagtoids make for very good reading, Carol! Post some more soon, okay?

2:31 AM  
Blogger bozette said...

Carol about the pens. They are writing pens I make them on a wood lathe. If you go to my blog pictures of my world in the Nov archive very last picture is some pens I make I make them out of wood and plastics.

7:19 AM  
Blogger the Monk said...

hey, great post...factoids are so much cooler than tags...and yeah, i really enjoy word games too, like scrabble and crosswords...and both of those quotes are very good...especially the one by Mark Twain...

7:34 AM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

I adore reading these niblets (but not corny) about you. Those humor writers are good ones, but I also recall being introduced to the great Erma Bombeck, via a newspaper column my mother cut out and tacked to the kitchen bulleting board.

I'm so with you on the gross food bits. I recall being forced to stick my UNGLOVED hand down the garbage disposal to be sure it was clear of bones, silverware, etc so that our "new" machine: the dishwasher wasn't broken again. This is a horror from my childhood.

Shel S.: oh yes! Word and creative board games rock! Sounds like we all could have a heck of a blogging board game party, judging by these comments.

I was bald longer than you...hehe
Quotes rock. Glad she helped!

9:52 AM  
Blogger sands of time said...

Loved to hear those little facts about you.I love board games as well.Although seems hard these days to find anyone who wants to play with me.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

If you like Dave Barry, you might like Tim Dorsey's stories as well. He's another writer in the Florida Wacko genre.

10:41 AM  
Blogger I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

Ditto, what you commented about learning the little facts about people/fellow-bloggers. It's the trivia--the human interest stuff--that I just LOVE.


1:57 PM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

One can never know too much about Her Royal Weariness.

What gives with the velvet thingy?

4:28 AM  
Anonymous colleen said...

Rotten in math? I take after my sister...Kathy...a few comments above me. Weary, I love learning more about you! Thanks so much for staying in touch. It's meant a lot to me!

11:22 AM  
Blogger MYSTIC said...

Math! We don't need no stinkin Math! I used to check my calculator with my pencil. I found out that the slide rule would do half the work so I bought two of them...My kids are math wizs, they can always figure out how much money I have and calculate ways to get it from me...I'm just an ATM to them. LOVE BOARD GAMES and FRUIT

6:20 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

I will fight you for Mr. Dave Barry - he's mine!!!

8:40 PM  
Blogger Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

Dave Barry, Gary Larson, and Shel Silverstien. Truly Brilliant!

Love the Hagtoids!!

10:55 AM  
Blogger MYSTIC said...


10:10 AM  
Blogger L said...

listening to kids explain things is always fun because sometimes they actually (accidentally) say something profound

I love Shel Silverstein too! He was so funny

10:58 PM  
Blogger tonch said...

omg no way! I'm the youngest of 4 boys and the tallest too. And i'm very blonde while the others turned very dark blonde.

Kindred spirit, is that you? hahaha

11:10 PM  
Blogger dan said...

I'm the same on #68 but please don't tell anybody I wear a bra.

3:45 AM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

Hagtoids, that is priceless.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

...twists my bra... I will have to use that one....

I enjoy your list!

12:13 AM  
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7:34 AM  

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