December 09, 2005

Come Play With Me!

I have been suffering all week from a love-hate friction with Blogger. Between comments being screwed with and various other glitches, I don’t know which I’m more upset about. They seem to have gotten with the program now, so I’ll try posting this fun, interactive ditty in hopes that things are finally squared away. Please, if you have any trouble with my blog, use the email provided in my profile so I can let the techtards know as early as possible. Thanks!

Okay readers. It’s time to sharpen your pencils and your imagination. Hopefully, I’ll get to sit back and read some fine entries – and the best part is – there’s no time limit. Read the rules below and let the games begin. My one request for this particular post is that lurkers jump in for a change. I’d be most interested to see what you all have to say!

Oops, I almost forgot to mention the most important part – I got this directly from my favorite tree-hugger buddy. Visit her, she’s a hoot.

RULES

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment here on my blog with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.When you're finished leaving your comment, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.I think this will be fun for all; like a bowl of Skittles and M&M's mixed; a color and a flavor for everyone! "

I know I don’t usually do this, but I’ll be responding (in “comments”) to each memory I read.

Ready, set, GO.

100 Comments:

Blogger Courtney said...

Oh, Hag! The trouble I'm having is choosing WHICH fake memory to share...

Ok, remember day two of our last "three-day-drunk?" I'll never forget (well, actually, I don't really remember, but I'll never forget people telling us about it) when you got up on the counter at Taco Bell and did the "Coyote Ugly" dance.

You could have easily done a third encore if you hadn't slipped during your back-double-tuck off the counter and cracked your head open on the sour cream dispenser.

Thank goodness that one-toothed, homeless doctor was there (and that I had rubberbands, toothpaste and thumbtacks in my pocket) or you would have easily bled to death!

What ever happened with you and the one-toothed, homeless doctor? If you've broken up with him, let me know...I'd like his number.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Wicked H said...

Haglette:

My favorite memory is when were imbibing heavily and decided that cow tipping was in order. Poor Steve, you think his pinkie toe ever recovered? I can’t decide which was funnier: the audible “hmmmmph” made by the cow or the girly screech when the cow landed on Steve’s foot. I hear he is still in therapy; Betty the Bovine sure took a liking to Stevie-boy.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Courtney ...
Ohhh yes. How could I forget that disaster? (though the dancing bit was quite fun)
That one-toothed homeless doctor ended up being a fake! Can you even stand it? We lived in the park for about two months before I realized that every time he said he needed to go see a patient, he was really rummaging through trash bins for our next meal. Jerk. You can have him if you want him, but dress warmly.
WH

9:56 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Wicked H ...
Good lord - I was trying to forget that particular memory! You know, I saw Steve in town the other day and I didn't think it was strange at all when he said he was going to the "moooovies" - until now. Poor, poor boy. And to think we figured it was just the bulls who were aggressive.
WH

9:59 AM  
Blogger madcapmum said...

Remember that home-perm you gave me? Well, my hair still hasn't grown back. Thanks, Carole.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

MCM ...

I'm SO sorry. And you would think I'd have learned my lesson by then with all those Toni perms my mother used to give us kids! She'd line us up at the sink and we'd all be embarrassed to death going to school the next day with little curly bangs. Ugh.
WH

10:58 AM  
Blogger sands of time said...

My fav memory of us was that road trip to mexico.It wasn't my fault we got drunk,lost out passports and had to sneak back into the country in an ice truck in only our underwear.

12:49 PM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Carol,

First of all, yay! I'm glad someone else is doing this - it is so much fun!

Hey. Do you remember when we were having lunch at that little diner and that guy came in and told us he could make us movie stars? We laughed and laughed at him but it turned out he was telling the truth.

Working with you on the remake of "White Christmas" was so much fun and I really enjoyed doing the "Sister" number with you. Who ever would have guessed that the tap dancing class I took in Kindergarten would still stick in my mind and I could dance with the best of them.

I think the best part of the whole experience is when they got Vince Vaughn to play the Danny Kaye part and how he and I eloped at the end of filming. Sorry, Jennifer.

1:03 PM  
Blogger "AG" said...

I loved it when we both went to Chicago to go watch a taping of Oprah! I know we stood out by not standing up when Oprah came out, but that's what made it so much fun. It wasn't as much fun though the way we fake cried at everything, even when everyone else was laughing when cued to do so!

1:45 PM  
Blogger oregoncelticlady said...

The weekend of the wild, succulent women had to be the best...we had had it with the men in our lives and just got in your convertable and drove to the Mexico coast, drank tequila till we were silly, threw off all unnecessary articles of clothing and romped in the surf until sundown. Then stumbled across a beach bar-b-que...and...memory getting fuzzy...can't quite recall how we woke on crisp cotton sheets next to those buff cabana boys...but smiled all the way back home!

3:59 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

Carol, it's the holidays and you still haven't sent the dough you owe me.

I completed "the assignment" and buried "it" in a shallow grave next to the railroad tracks and placed "it's" belongings in the storage area in Jersey. I went above and beyond, you never asked me to take "it's" car for that little drive to Montana.

Don't try to play the sympathy card on me this time, as you did in 1979 when I made the homeless docto... uh, I mean... "other it" go away.

I hope you don't mind my using this public forum to remind you of your... obligations.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Pink Lady ...

Hm. If I remember correctly, the ice truck was YOUR idea! I didn't see anything wrong with using those two mules that nun wanted to give us in trade for our six inch heels, but NOOOO ... you insisted on the ice truck. I was sick for a month following that little escapade.

5:14 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

CARPE DM...

Yeah, lucky YOU. I ended up being partners with Danny DeVito in that cheap filming and I wasn't very happy about it either. Still, it was cute when you took out your little tap dancing shoes during the audition and they still had the little girl bows on them!

.....

AG ...

Oh my goodness I almost forgot about that trip! Oprah has never been the same since. The best part for me was when we later when for pizza and in rather loud tones, we told everyone in the place that New York pizza puts their deep dish to shame every single time! hahaha Did you see those stares we got? Priceless.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Oregoncelticlady ...

Still laughing over that one! Hey, those hot little cabana boys made me forget all about the trivial little faults of the men we went there to forget. Do you think that one guy's real name was Matrix or do you think that was fake? Oh well ... no harm done.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Dave ... Dave ... Dave,

Funny thing how money issues always seem to slip my mind this way. Even funnier than that? That "it" you were helping to rid me of ... I owed "it" lots of money too - till you helped "it" disappear. *evil grin*
Stop by sometime and we can talk about the payoff. I'll put on tea water while you go test drive my specially "prepared" car. Ka-freaking-BOOM. hahahaha

5:28 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Remember the great bank robbery heist? Everything was going as planned until we got in the car and it wouldn't start.The red dye pack exploded in my face and you got out and ran like your panties were on fire with two bags of money
Well i got busted,i just got out the big house last week,looking forward to our reunion CAROL!

6:11 PM  
Blogger Rex Mottram said...

Carol,
I think the fondest memory I have was the night we went to "Chippendales", remember how embarrassed you were at admitting you wanted to go, you really should have taken up my offer, but you just had to see the "real thing" (you still don't believe my thing is real, do you?) I hope you still don't have those dreadful photos of me dressed as your mother just so I'd go in with you.
Anyway have a good Christmas, I'll send a male stripper Santa for you.

6:18 PM  
Blogger oregoncelticlady said...

Good goddess, look at the bum on the picture "of" Rex! Rex, our cabana boy did not ever give you permission to use his pic...*laugh*

6:34 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Michelle ...

HEY! My panties WERE on fire! You left the engine running in our getaway car and the heated seat device had a short in it. You thought the car wasn't running and kept trying to start it in your confused and agitated state - next thing I knew, you were covered in red dye and I grabbed what I could and beat tracks!
Glad to know you're outta da big house by now. I'm not the louse you thing I am though ... I invested all that money and kept it for us to divvy up when you got out. Yay us!!

6:38 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Rex ...

Shhhh. I thought we agreed to keep this caper under wraps. It's not that I didn't believe yours was real, I just didn't want to destroy our friendship by finding out - it was a girl thing back then.
I still think you looked completely adorable in my mother's clothing - particularly in her toeless pumps and seamed stockings. You little devil you!
WH

6:42 PM  
Blogger Alisa said...

WH -

My deepest apologize for leaving you stranded in that little town in Germany during our European Backpacking Tour we did in 1981. If I had known you didn't have any money hidden, I wouldn't have taken the money you left in your backpack. I recently found out what a harrowing experience it was for you to get back to the United States. Thank god for the American Embassy and Red Cross, eh?

I ran off with a Von somethingaruther, am married now, with six Vons running around living in a beautiful Swiss Schloss. My two oldest are out of college! My how time flies.

Now that we've buried the hatchet over that little thing about me leaving you high, dry and penniless, you should come visit some day.

STILL your best friend after all these years,
Alisa

6:54 PM  
Blogger bozette said...

Memory
We were at the Milwaukee County Zoo.
And you saw a Peacock running around so you decided to ride it.It went good for about the first 3 minutes in till he jumped up on a fence on the Monkey enclosure. And you feel in. They started to check you over for lice. but they didn't find any so they threw you in with the Mountain Goats but you couldn't climb very well. So they bucked you into the Polar Bear enclosure. That is where you stayed. Snuggled up to the polar bear. Would like to know how you and he are doing.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Thanks for all your help with writing the book "1,001 Uses for Men". I never would have had the book ready by the deadline without you, all the late nights, the gallons of coffee, the secret laboratory, the experimentation. Where did you find all those men anyway? Also, where did you hide so many bodies afterwards? I'm sure some of them were still moving, sort of moaning, or something. I hope you recycled. Oh, that would be 1,002!

10:10 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

I could never top any of the entries above, so I won't try. They have been a blast to read, however!

12:06 AM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Carol,

Remember that time when we decide it would be a blast to go white water rafting dressed as Laurel & Hardy?

I was Stanley as like me he was English. You being slightly portly from your addiction to chili cheese dogs and donuts (watching you stuff a cheese dog into your mouth followed immediately by a sprinkle covered donut was such a sight to behold. Made my heart flutter).

We set off our hands clamping our Laurel & Hardy hats tight to our heads as the raft rode the thrashing water. We whooped and hollered like little kids on Christmas morning as we picked up speed.

The raft carrened down the river bouncing off rocks, we both lost our hats and our lunches but laughed gaily as vomit splashed our feet.

Then suddenly we smacked into a huge boulder in the middle of the stream and we were both propelled into the foaming water.

Your portly frame afforded you suitable floatation to reach the shore and pull yourself to safety.

Me, I was washed over the waterfall, dashed upon the rocks below,my body lifeless and flopping around like a rag doll. I was eventually pulled from the water by a passing grizzly and mauled mercilessly until a hunter shot the grizzly in the rump scaring him off and leaving me half-drowned, half-mauled, ragged bloody pulp like on the river bank.

Five years of surgery, physiotherapy and lots of drugs later I am almost back to normal.

But Carol, why oh why did you never visit me or send me flowers or even enquire as to my health?

It was all your idea...

Mik

3:33 AM  
Blogger dan said...

Carol, I remember that time last summer when we took 40 tabs of acid each.

Wasn't that great. These kids today have no idea how to have fun.

The best part was when we ended up in adjoining padded cells until our temporary psychosis had worn off.

Those rainbow coloured cows were fun though.

Do I really have to post this on my blog?

3:43 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

ALISA ... You know, it's amazing what one can get without money. True, you left me stranded in that little berg, but if not for that, I wouldn't have met the most wonderful man I've ever known. In fact, we've been together all these years and finally, we'll be married soon! In a sense I have you to thank. In another sense I'd like to come to your house and steal all your treasured keepsakes and lock you and your six Vons in a closet before leaving. haha I still have my sense of humor though - ain't that a regular riot?Time to run now and fix up some brats with sauerkraut.
WH

BOZETTE ... I sure enough loved that polar bear! He protected me from the cold Milwaukee air and he sheltered me from harm. The best part was that he never tried anything funny. I think he thought I was one of his kids or something. Phew. Lucky me! Those were the days.
WH

LAURA ... I'm so glad I could inspire you to complete your book! You know how you see these folks on TV who build houses out of paper clips, beer cans and newspaper? Well that's what I did with all those men. The place is small, but cozy. Most of the smell has dissipated by now and it's almost ready to inhabit. Man-brain makes for great insulation! No, really.
Stop by sometime and hey, bring me a copy of your book. I'd love to read it to the kiddies at night.
WH

KENJU ... Glad you enjoyed reading! I know this is a little more zany than my usual fare, but sometimes it feels good to just throw caution to the wind and do something a little out-there. :)
One memory I have of you, however, is the time we sat for hours in Washington Square Park playing Scrabble in the rain. People thought we were nuts holding that umbrella over our game board instead of our heads! Figures you won all five games ... I'll get you yet my little pretty!
WH

NONSENSICAL FLOUNDERINGS ... Simple answer - I truly thought you were dead. I figured no one could possibly escape such misfortune. I enjoyed being Oliver and looking back, that was one heck of a white water ride! A few things you should know - I've since lost a whole lot of weight, I no longer go near water of any type (save for the occasional shower), and I now speak with a British accent that could match yours and then some. I'll be sending you flowers and candy as soon as I finish this note. I guess we should never assume, eh?

DAN ... Oh. My. God. I never could remember who it was I went through that whole experience with, and now I finally know! Wow. Talk about your purple mountains majesty and rainbow flying cows! People to this day don't believe me when I tell them I had full conversations about the universe with the cockroaches on the cell floor. The joke is on them, little do they know cockroaches hold the answers to everything in life. The ones I later lived with in my apartment sure dummied up though - it's almost as if they could tell I was no longer swagged out on acid or something.
And you're right. Kids today think iPods and video games are fun. We know better, don't we? HAH!
WH

7:14 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

HA!HA!HA! (said in my best witchy screech) you'll never win, my pretty!

That's funny, Carol, because at one time in my life, I probably would have played Scrabble in the rain. I used to play it by myself if I couldn't find a partner. How sad is that!?

8:01 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:07 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

KENJU ... Move over Ms. Pathetic, I'm sitting right next to you on that particular Scrabble bus. I even used to get bored (on occasion) with the real rules so I'd make up rules of my own (i.e. only two syllable words can be played, etc) We're hopeless *sigh*

8:09 AM  
Blogger happyandblue2 said...

Cool Christmas picture of you..

8:50 AM  
Blogger MYSTIC said...

My favorite memory of you was trying to convince the game warden that the Bass that you caught was legal. Just because you had already cleaned it was the reason it was so small....Another Fish Story....shame on you. SANTA will hear about this...

9:28 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

H&B ... thanks! You know, I seem to recall when you took that picture. You had just come in from bicycling all the way from Canada and you insisted I sit for the picture. You were all out of breath from your winter ride, but you wouldn't take no for an answer. Good job!

MYSTIC ... Hey, I remember that day and I still insist that bass was legal! If only I had been able to the one that got away. Dang. Just my luck - as always. If I get up Christmas morning and find a pile of night crawlers on my floor beneath the tree, you're in big trouble. Nah, Santa wouldn't do that to me. Would he?
WH

9:49 AM  
Blogger Hick said...

Oh Carol...I'm back. Remember me? Your twin? You used to call me your evil twin. Well, I'm out now and I've found you. I can't wait to see you again. We have so many memories to share. Like the time you locked me in the attic...by the way, you never mentioned that little incident in your attic post.

Well, cheers! You can't hide from me forever.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

HICK ... Oh god, oh god. I thought sure I was through with you forever. Hey, ummm ... you didn't, by any chance, take me seriously when I tied up your hands and feet to the center beam up there in the attic. I was really really just kidding with ya. Who knew I'd end up locking the door behind me when I left and completely forgetting to free you years later? I'm real sorry I only left you those Sno-Cap chocolates and Juicy Fruits to eat. I figured that would cover at least two food groups - dairy (chocolate) and fruit. Who needs protein anyhow, right? Right Hick? Right?
p.s. just curious - do you still have that wonderful sense of humor you always had? sure hope so.
WH
[runs across the room cowering under a table]

11:04 AM  
Blogger bozette said...

you have been tagged. Your it. Come to http://bozette.blogspot.com/
and read all about it.

3:51 PM  
Blogger PBS said...

Oh dear, which memory to choose?

Maybe 'way back when I was just getting to know you. You came early for my beach party and helped me set up and get ready for guests. When Dave came with all the wood, you helped him drag it out to the beach and get it lit (really, I think you were just trying to get Dave lit, remember the crush you used to have on him?)

And then when you burnt your boot when we were taking turns leaping over the bonfire. Do you still have that boot? You swore that you'd never lose it and in fact, were going to wear it at least once every January in memory of the good time that we had.

We really bonded and got to be friends when you helped me make a HUGE bowl of scrambled eggs for everyone when they were getting up (off the floor in sleeping bags) in the morning with hangovers.

Let's do that again some day!

5:19 PM  
Blogger Thoughts said...

Whoa, you said you wouldn't tell a single soul and guess what? Every damn person I meet from that city knows what went down that night!

Did you think you could get away scott free?

Those women thought is was just plain hilarious but me and the rest of the guys.... well let me tell you.....

When we think of that night all we can do is wince and cross our legs.

Who would have thought you could be so cruel and insensitive?

After all I have done for you and you treat me and my buds this way.

What are you going to do next?

I had better not hear anything more about this where I live now.

You remember the guy I hired for your little problem the last time, I can spend a little to protect myself this time....

By the way, you can keep all of that cash you found under the seat, I have the rest that was in the trunk.

Behave yourself, or else.....

Thoughts

11:09 PM  
Blogger the Monk said...

Remember the time you first visited India and we met up? I'm really sorry I jumped ship when all those monkeys attacked you near that temple. I'll never forget your voice, though, when you called me on my mobile screaming for help...apparently, they had chased you up a tree. It didn't help that both of us were drunk, either. But I did drive back and scare away the monkeys by honking loudly and shouting Kreegah! Bundolo!. And man, that jump you took from the tree onto the hood, that was something else. But since I did save your life in the end, you might stop cribbing about how I ran away initially.

2:36 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

PBS ... That was by far one of the greatest beach parties I ever attended! I have a big secret to tell you though. Yes, I did have a little crush on Dave, but I burnt my boot on purpose! That's right. While we were dragging the wood out together, sand fleas got inside it somehow and were tearing my poor toes apart. I didn't want to act all girly girl and such, so I decided if I caught it on fire, at least the horrendous itching would stop PLUS maybe Dave would notice me and come to my aid.
I do still have the boot but it's now framed as my foot no longer fits in it. I keep it in my attic figuring I could use it as a Christmas gift for someone incase they stop by unannounced. Wanna come over? ;)

UNHAPPY THINKER ... I KNEW IT! I knew you took all that money from the trunk. Nobody else could have known it was stashed there. Hmph. [crossing arms over chest in a huff now]
Look, maybe this makes us even. I did, after all, blab all over town about you and put you in a precarious situation with your friends. Just as a nice Christmas gesture, I'll go ahead and cancel that half-page ad I placed in your local newspaper revealing the whole incident. But you have to be "nice" to me from now on. Sheesh.
WH

THE MONK ... Look. I loved my trip to India and learned so much while I was there ... and yes, sure, you saved my darned life. BUT ... you could have warned me that those monkeys were carrying that nasty monkey flu because through the years I'm sure I infected hundreds of friends and acquaintances. Plus, there's no cure so now we're all stuck with it for life. Hm, I wonder if that one friend of mine who died while climbing a telephone pole and scratching his armpit didn't really do the drugs we thought he had done. Perhaps he wasn't JUST a carrier after all.
Anyway, I've forgiven you for running away in utter fear like a little whiney baby brat. I probably would have done the same.
P.S. By the way, this "Kreegah! Bundolo!" ... that translates to "WH you are one of the loveliest and most beautiful and intelligent people I've ever known in my life" ... right?
WH

8:45 AM  
Blogger dan said...

this is truly the greatest post of all time

2:13 PM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I just came across a box of photos and found the ones from the night we camped out in the EMS store overnight. Remember? We snuck into one of the set-up tents and hung out until closing time, then cooked dinner over a propane stove and sang campfire songs. I'll never forget that security guard's face when the fire alarm went off! oh, good times.

6:03 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

The only memory I have of you was when you were starring on Broadway, remember before you went into rehab? It was a wonderful show, "Bloggers on Broadway" I can still hear you belting out those lovely tunes. It was a magical evening UNTIL I waited outside the stage door with some other losers..oops I mean Fans and you refused to even give us a glance as you were talking into your cell complaining that there was a brown M&M in your dressing room and how dare they??? I know you are a diva and all but I just wanted to say hi. *sigh*

9:52 PM  
Blogger jac said...

It was in 1965 that these all happened; perhaps you don’t remember me at all. How can you ? It is almost 40 years since that those things happened. You were a very pretty girl with just one thought of becoming famous.
I used to live nearby and adored you. That day was the darkest day for me hearing the news that you are missing from home. You have gone on your own with your friend Nettie.
Just ran away with out a trace or letters …nothing, taking just the a few undies, a piece of candy bar and a few coins from your broken piggy bank
I just couldn’t believe that my haglet was foolish enough to run away with just another little girl, out in open for grabs. I couldn’t stand or sit anywhere for I was in love with you. A secret to you too, as I was afraid how you will react to it when you hear it.
Finally I made up my mind to do what is needed and do it alone. I packed a small bag and left with what ever money I could steal from my father’s fat wallet. I was on your trail asking in bus terminals and ferry stations and parks about two girls. No trace of any of you. Finally I have decided to pursue you farther, assuming that you might have taken the ferry.

It was snowing and become colder in the night and it was morning when I got off of the ferry. I had no idea where I was and no money too. Hunger and cold started eating my brain. I wanted to cry and ask help but I was too proud. An hour and a half and I was having difficulty in breathing due to the cold. I was shivering all over when I lost my sense.

When I opened my eyes, I was in a ship heading to Africa,lying on a warm bunk. I started to cry and I felt a warm hand on my head, a black woman stood smiling at me. She told me that I was unconscious for 4 days. She found me fainting on the road and took me to her hotel and was taken to a Doc who recommended her that I will be ok once I wake up from the sleep. As she was leaving to Africa the very same day, she took me in the ship, thinking that I am an orphan from the look of my dirty clothes and empty tummy.
That is how I happened to be in Africa. The rich woman who took me had left all her wealth to me when she died and have lived her until i saw your picture in the blog
Now don’t you remember me ? Nor do you realize that you made me to leave my country.
After almost 40 years and being called yourself a Weary Hag, do you realize that my love to you have landed me in Africa leaving all my dear ones behind or would you at least remember that I was in love with you once???
Now how can I make you understand that it is not fake, haglet?
Don’t you throw it out saying that it is a made up story, plz. !!!!!!!!
For God's sake this is real !!!!

4:12 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

SPINNING GIRL ... Holy Coleman supplies! You actually remembered that? You're amazing. You know, I've been intrigued with campfires ever since that night yet somehow, the memory got away from me. The best part (aside from the putting our thumbs on the water fountains and aiming at the smoke alarms so they'd shut up) was when we started telling ghost stories and you got so scared that you nearly watered your thighs. Yikes was that fun. I truly believe that security guard wanted more from us than he let on but hey quick thinking on your part to bargain with him on letting us slide. He could have had us locked up by the police but no, you came up with that brilliant idea of telling him he looked like a LL Bean model and encouraged him to put on the rugged-type clothes and pose for pictures for us. He thought he was just so slick. hahaha. Next time you're in town, let's do lunch and look over those photos together!
Call me. I'll pencil you in.
WH

9:54 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

MEL ... dear, sweet MEL ... Okay here's what you gotta understand - I know I was a nobody back then (back then?) but a gal's got to dream. Getting that part meant the world to me and I suppose it went straight to my burnt-out-bennie-poppin-weed-smokin-scotch-on-the-rocks head. What can I say? Seeing all of you folks in the roaring crowd outside just reminded me, too soon, what a peon (oops, I mean 'average person') I really still was. It hurt. I cried later but of course, you wouldn't know that.
My voice isn't what it used to be, but I can still act up a storm. If you're still running in those circles (read: pathetic groupie) do you have any leads for me?
So sorry to have offended (kinda).
Da Diva, WH

10:01 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

JAC ... poor Jac ... I am astonished that you have found me again after all these years! I never knew what had become of you, but often wondered. How terribly sad that you went looking for me only to wind up in a strange country living off the land. If truth be told, YOU were the only real reason I ever returned home that cold, cold night. You see, I too was quite taken in by you and had many a dream of living happily ever after with you in my life. If only you could have waited. If only we weren't so timid back then. If only I too could have found a kindly woman to put me on a boat to another land so I could have become rich and famous one day writing about my wonderful adventure - oops... I got sidetracked there.
There are so many 'if onlys' but we must now be thankful for how our lives turned out and not look back anymore. Twasn't meant to be - you and I, Jac. If it 'twas, then it 'twoulda.

I'm awfully sorry about you leaving your loved one behind and such, but surely by now you have acquired great wealth and riches and you could return any time you'd like! They say people can't MAKE other people do things, so if I were you, I'd try hard to look inward for the strength to move on. I'm not really worth it anyhow, trust me. Okay well maybe I am, but I'm spoken for so just pretend I'm not. K?
Let bygones be bygones and all that.
If only ... WH

10:13 AM  
Blogger Simone said...

Remember that time you gave me a big, juicy carrot? Hrmph.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Mouse said...

Remember when we were both young and confused??

I didn't get the post, really, but it's interesting.

(I'm such an idiot, I know.)

12:39 PM  
Blogger Bekah said...

I'd have to say my favorite memory of us was when we were groupies for The Who. Or was it Kiss? That was it! Gene Simmons and that TONGUE. Oh, yeah, that's a good memory right there... Those were some naughty times.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

SIMONE ... Oh yes! Back when I used to have my little bunny named Frisky, I'd walk her on the leash around the 'hood and she found you to be quite the furry pal. I couldn't resist giving you the juicy carrot - I'm a sucker for a floppy eared bunny. I'm so happy you remembered! :)
WH

3:08 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

JILL ... Well ... since 'young' is a fairly relative term, I still feel pretty young ... and I'm almost constantly confused. Some things never change, do they? haha
Thanks for playing!
WH

3:14 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

BEKAH ... Ewwww! I DO remember that night! Looking at Gene Simmons now I wonder why he ever took off his make-up. I still can't believe we made such jerks of ourselves fawning over him like that. Maybe if you hadn't tried getting up on the stage and throwing that extra pair of undies you stashed in your purse up onto the stage he wouldn't have hounded us so much. I love that you overshot them and they landed on his tongue when he stuck it out! Too bad he took that picture from us ... it would have made a great story in the local paper.

Good times indeed. :)
WH

3:23 PM  
Blogger Jezzy said...

Remember when we ram-raided the ice cream shop and ate so much we had ice cream headaches by the time the police showed up? It was fun spending the night in jail..

7:46 PM  
Anonymous kathy AKA ben said...

It's okay if you don't remember the time we shared together as young girls in the 1890's. I'm remembered, with the help of a past life regression, an evening we excitedly dressed together for a five o'clock tea - grooming ourselves in front of a full length wall sized gold leaf mirror. With conservative giggles, we relished in imaginings of our first night of personal independence, for we were each finally old enough attend a social gathering without an escort. Our lavish cosseted dresses were tailored from the finest of materials. My dress was made from a creamy colored silk taffeta, with an overlay of soft flowing floral fabric. Yours, a garment of fine imported satin, was adorned with frilly ruffles, lace and velvet ribbons. These gorgeous dresses were tightly fitted to our young waists, with yards of material puffed up in a generous bustle, giving our already fine hourglass figures and extra boost. Our social visit was to aunt Milly's house (yours or mine, I can't be sure which, for I'm a bit hazy on this part of the memory). I recall sitting with you in your father's carriage watching the falling snow, when a gust of wind lifted my navy colored muff onto the slippery cobble stoned street. The horses mindlessly trampled on it, turning it into a wet mound of matted wool. I cried, for the muff was given to me as an early Christmas gift that very night by you, my friend. You wiped my tears, your heart always compassionate. For the rest of the journey we innocently clasped hands together to keep warm, your left and my right, tucked into your muff. As the horses sped to the outskirts of town, we talked like sisters, envisioning promising dreams of the future. Do you remember Weary?

9:04 PM  
Anonymous colleen said...

Remember when we went to Woodstock together and Janis Joplin invited us on stage to dance with her when she sang "Take A Little Piece of My Heart?"

11:52 PM  
Anonymous lilly05 said...

Hey Carol. I was just reminded the other day of the time we decided to walk across Europe. You got so turned around that we ended up in Latvia. Falling afoul of the LRFB (Latvian Republic Freedom Brigade) was a little terrifying (it's ok now I hardly ever have nightmares anymore) But all-in-all it was an eye-opening treck. Traversing the Gulf of Bothnia twice and making landfall in Gavle was a blast (even if we did suffer from mild dehydration and a little sodium overload...you REALLY SHOULD have done some more thourough research into purchasing supplies. I mean really 5 pounds of dried salted fish and a gallon of water? It was only a short trip down the coast to Stockholm where we shacked up with that Swedish Bohemian artist. I was a little disapointed that he was into bondage and licorice whips, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself. Well, with the exception of the rather brief foray into psychotropic drugs and the unfortunate canabalism incident (I truly am sorry about that. I realize now that you probably won't grow it back now, but It seemed so very plausible back then. Anyway, I was thinking about a treck across the Sahara...wanna come? :)

2:30 AM  
Blogger I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

WH: I think my favorite "memory" of all the time we've spent together is the way we met. We were at a Weight Watcher's meeting, remember? We discovered we both hated that redhead who kept saying (over and OVER) how FAT she was and that she HAD to lose that 7 pounds or she was going to KILL herself. You leaned over to me and whispered, "Let's help her. You hold her down and I'll slit her skinny throat."

Afterward we decided to head to Costco to make the rounds of the samples for lunch...(you can make a meal of this if you time it right!) They had those little mini-quiches and we went back a few times, until Sample Lady glared at us like we were talking too loud in the library or something.

The best part is that we have since tried Jenny Craig and LA Weight Loss Centers together and are saving for liposuction, tummy tucks and the neck-waddle removal procedure together. I can't wait to be your roommate in the hospital so we can hold each other's hand while we go under and have more happy memories together.

XOXO, Hannah

3:18 AM  
Blogger I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

P.S. I posted this game on my blog and changed it up a bit for fun. Can't wait to see the result. Does this make me clickworthy? ;)

Hh

3:59 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

JEZZY ... OMG I'll never get over that night in jail. We sang so many songs together in poor harmony that we drove that guard nuts all night! The best ice cream in the world is FREE ice cream - haha. And you know what they say about friends right? A friend will always bail you out of jail but a TRUE friend is the one sitting next to you laughing about how you both ended up in there!
You were always such a true pal.
WH

9:41 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

KATHY ... Oh how I remember! It doesn't take long to sit back in a candlelit room and travel back through time to that place where innocence and beauty surrounded us.
I can still hear the clopping of the horses steps as we rode together, completely ignoring the bitter chill, on our way into early adulthood. It was picture perfect - just like our loyalty to one another.
My favorite part of that day was catching bits and pieces of the conversations you kept having with your imaginary (?) pal named Tige. It was almost as though you were talking with your own self, but far more profound. I'll bet you never realized I could hear you. I wouldn't let on because I didn't want it to stop! Those chats were priceless.
What was that we used to say all the time? "Let's snap a mind-photo of this very moment so it can last forever." I guess that particular moment did!
WH

9:53 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

COLLEEN ... Ohhh you sure know how to bring me back to my youth! Woodstock was beyond amazing, wasn't it? Trying now to explain it all to those who weren't there is like trying to nail jello to a tree - just absurd. Joplin was my idol back then and if you hadn't dared me to join you on the stage, I never would have gotten the chance to sing and dance with her. Thanks so much for giving me the courage!
And don't worry, I never did show anyone the pictures of us taking a mud bath just so we could feel clean.
I laugh so hard when I recall you telling me I was a prude for not wanting to take my shirt off in the crowd ... then realizing you wouldn't do it either!! We sure were a pair.
I still can't get "Goin Up The Country" out of my head ... we sang it all the way home. Thank you Canned Heat!
And thanks Coll ... for remembering.
WH

10:06 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

LILLY ... Egad! Just when I thought it was safe to forget all about that experience, you go a bring it back up. Phew. So much to say here ... first, the trip was incredible on many levels. Who would have figured us to survive those odds? BUT ... you misunderstood about the Bohemian artist and the licorice whips. They were REAL licorice and good god in heaven knows I cannot resist real licorice! Every time he cracked those puppies I was biting into them and enjoying a licorice heaven. The pain, of course, was secondary in that experience.
As to the cannibalism ... well I know you won't believe this, but it not only grew back, but it's real and it's stupendous! It even matches the other one. (yeah, I know, I lucked out)

I'm glad to learn that your nightmares have ended, but mine are still quite apparent. Every now and again I cower in fear beneath the covers as I distinctly hear the Latvian accent in rugged manly-man tones. Brrrr ... perish the thought!

I'm amazed that you remember all this after frying your brain with all the acid. You've always been able to bounce back. Dang.
I'm so proud of you!
WH

10:16 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

MILLINER'S DREAM ... That skinny, whiney beotch deserved what she got!! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. (thanks for holding her down)
You know, Costco just isn't the same anymore. Leave it to you to bring up the good old days when we could stuff ourselves to the gills in there on any given afternoon ... and all for FREE! The best part was when you came up with that idea about walking up the table carrying a box of the crap they were handing out and pretending that you were "really going to buy some" but that you couldn't decide which flavor you wanted so you needed just another taste. hahaha To think it worked!
Nowadays, I'm lucky to walk in there and get a forkfull of dried hotdog coated with some mouth-burning suicide juice.
BLEH!
I like the plan to have liposuction and junk, but I'm a little concerned about losing the neck-waddle. I have so many turtle neck tops now (trying to hide it) and I won't be able to afford a new wardrobe when all is said and done. My guess is, this bothers you some too. Right?
See you at the chop-shop.
WH

10:24 AM  
Blogger Puggyspice said...

Ugh. I still have nightmares about the time we went to North Dakota in the middle of January, and only brought shorts and tank tops to wear! It snowed 12 feet and we got stuck in the cabin, and the electricity died! No alcohol either. If only we had been sober when we packed!

11:32 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

And then one time, in band camp, they made you play the flute and assigned me the tuba but we didn’t like them so we melted them into one instrument we called the Fluba and then Sister Mary Katherine Margaret Callahan O’Hara Haggis McFarland yelled at us and I wanted to kill her by setting her intestines and nose hairs on fire but you said “No, that’s too easy” and we sprayed her with carrot juice and set a pack of rabid rabbits on her and then we had ice cream and the psychiatrist said you blocked the whole thing from memory as a defense mechanism. Wasn’t that fun?

1:32 PM  
Blogger NWJR said...

I'll never forget that night with the slinky. You, dressed only in a tanktop and flip-flops, me in my snowmobile suit...trying to get the slinky to go unaided from the top to the bottom of the steps on the Mayan Temple. Remember--we'd have made it, too, if it weren't for that giant frog that jumped in its path on step 77!

Oh, the way you laughed. I treasure that memory, I really do.

1:41 PM  
Blogger katie said...

I was just thinking today about the time we went to London and stole one of the royal guards fuzzy hats. Having them chase us around that endless circle drive was great fun, until you got car sick. What a trip.

2:27 PM  
Blogger oregoncelticlady said...

I know I already told my favorite...but with Dec. 21st fast approaching, I can't help but remember the Winter Solstice '85 and dancing around the fire....remember how embarrassed we were when we realized the poster said "not closed (to anyone) and NOT "no clothes"?!?!?!
I hope you have gotten new glasses since then. I was quite scorched by the whole thing! HEY, anyone have any wonderful plans for the 21st?

6:56 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

Hey there WH, Steve here.

I just have to say three things:
Scuba gear,
Lightning bugs, and
the Pillsbury Doughboy.

I'm sure you remember what I'm talking about! ;-)

8:43 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

I remember that dark stormy night we sat in the car after smoking that bag of pot.
We were arguing over the fact that you stole that piece of shit car and I had to drive it because you were the only one who could roll a decent joint.
We sat in that dark ally staking out the joint for our early morning assault.
3 hours we sat there waiting and arguing.
We would have been home for it not for you.
You fucked up the whole night.
The party was going well and then you locked yourself in that room until you done your dastardly deed.
You’re lucky everyone else didn’t kill you but now you had to fix the mess you got yourself into and because I am your friend I had to be there in the wee hours of the morning, suffering for your selfishness.
If you hadn’t eaten all the damn donuts we wouldn’t be sitting there waiting for Krispy Kream to open at 6 am to bring back donuts to the guys at the house.

2:33 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

PUGGYSPICE ... I have a confession to make. I feel awful about this and you may come after me, but hey, confession is good for the soul, right? I actually DID pack some of those nifty hand-warmer jobbies that, when squished, they heat up really nice. Remember all those trips to the bathroom I kept making at the cabin? Well there ... you ... go. So sorry. I tucked those things into places I almost forgot I had! And they worked really well too.
I understand you remained in the hospital for weeks with pneumonia afterward and that you almost lost your pinkie toes to frostbite, but I'm sure you understand all about the survival instinct.
Oh yes, and it really had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I knew you were sleeping with my boyfriend back home for months. No, really, it didn't. I just didn't have enough hand warmers to share; not a square to spare.
Stay warm.
WH

6:59 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

GRANT ... You little rascal you! You just HAD to go and remind me about the Fluba. Wow, there's a word I thought sure I'd never hear again.
Look, the way I see it, Sister MKMCOHM deserved what she got. The good thing about killing nuns is that you don't have to worry about where their soul is going because they pounded it into our heads all those years how they are all going straight to heaven and junk. So we didn't really do her wrong - at least that's how I see it.
And don't think for one minute I wasn't fully aware that YOU were the one who stuck the flaming pickle into my fluba just as I was about to blow it in that other nun's direction. I actually thought that was kinda cute - especially when it set her habit on fire. I didn't know nuns could run that fast. ha ha ha.
Thanks for the sa-weet memories, pal.
WH

7:10 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

NWJR ... You know, I'm betting if we had brought the mini-slinky instead of the traditional size ... that puppy would have FLOWN down those steps and in record time. You ever see those things go? Phew.
I didn't think it was so funny when you wrapped the slinky around my neck and dragged me the rest of the way home. I still have little ringlet marks halfway around my neck.
You were so cute when we were young. You know, cute, like roadkill-skunk on a hot day.
I'll get you back one of these days. Don't forget - slinkies are shaped in such a way that they fit over various protruberances.
You up for a cross-country trip?
WH

7:19 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

KATIE ... HAHAHA! YES! That was one heck of an ordeal. I loved the look on his face when we were dancing around in front of him trying to distract him. It was actually quite simple to get his hat off, wasn't it? Stupid Royal-Guard rules they have ... hahaha.
But you know, I've been thinking ~ if not for the fact that they drive on the wrong side of the road and on the wrong side of the car, I don't think I would have blown chow all over the place.
Just think, if driving over there was normal, we would still have that hat today. Hm.
We should save enough to go back with mopeds. Wanna?
WH

7:25 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

OREGONCELTICLADY ... I'm SO sorry about that. I have bifocals now and they never fail me. How embarrassing that was!
This year I had a special plan for the Winter Solstice. Rather than keeping with tradition, I'm just heading out to my back yard, bending over and barking at the moon. I think I'll keep my clothes on though - we're already ankle deep in snow.
My, my, you DO have a great memory.
WH

7:30 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

STEVE ... Okay, for the last time, I swear it was NOT my idea to take the boat out. We knew the water was excessively rough that night and it was already too close to the town curfew. Second ... the lightening bugs were suppose to be just for effect. If the plan had gone as intended, they would have made all the difference in the world and you KNOW that... you just KNOW it. And last ... sometimes, when I lay in bed at night, that creepy Pillsbury doughboy giggle rings out in my ears until I jump up screaming for dear life. It haunts me. It always will.
I see you conveniently forgot to mention the Milky Way bar and the Aqualung background music, but that's okay - it's all good. I'm down to about six antidepressants per day now and I only get tremors bi-weekly.
Did you ever cash in the rest of the traveler's checks? I'm guessing they're still good.
WH

7:38 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

WALKER ... You're right. I'm so sorry I ruined everything that night. In my own defense, have you never known a true addiction? See how it rhymes (conveniently) with affliction? There's a reason for that. Krispy Kremes will get ya every time. My best advice to the people I deliver speeches to nowadays is "Just don't start. Once you eat one you will NEVER and I mean NEVER be the same again. You will have no semblance of self-control EVER again in your life! You will be a slave to da donut. Just say NOPE."
And by the way? I only made you drive the stolen POS car (piece of shit) because mama didn't raise no fool - if we got caught, I would have loved to see you trying to convince da heat that I took the car. ha ha ha. As to rolling the joints ... that was just an excuse. I already had four of those big boys ready to go and right in my side pocket the whole time.
You know what they say about you big guys ... the bigger they are the harder they fall. Well, you sure fell for my baloney that night! hahaha The jokes on you.
Oh. Nevermind. I was still the one with the addiction to the KK's. Damn those things, DAMN THEM!
WH

7:47 AM  
Blogger Floridacracker said...

Mostly, I remember that time we were late to the opening night party (kind of like I was to this post)

We arrived fashionably late, but we certainly did get noticed. After all, how can the party start without the stars of the show.

10:27 AM  
Blogger brooksba said...

I have been absolutely terrible at trying to decide which memory of us I wanted to share. What I keep coming back to, again and again, is the time when we decided how much fun it would be to start our own "Penguins at Parties" business. We went to talk to that guy, you know - the sleazy greasy one with the uncombed mullet, about storage for the penguins. Who would have thought keeping water and ice in a perfect balance at the local kiddie's park was so high priced. And the one party we actually were booked for! The kids loved the birds, until they started pecking at them. That one little girl wanted to point out all the scales on Chirpy and as we tried to explain that penguins have feathers, her mother interrupted us to tell US that we were wrong and that penguins obviously have fur. As adorable as the little creatures were, I'm glad we were able to get them to the local zoo that could keep much better care of them than we did.

3:25 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

FLORIDACRACKER ... My heart still sings when I think about that evening! We were WONDERFUL in that play and even though it was our last performance together, it was by far our best!
It occurred to me that if it hadn't been for your vast knowledge of reptiles, and my oh-so-original styling of the required songs, we may never have landed the starring roles.
Just the other day while shopping for Christmas, I overheard two women talking and would you believe they brought up our play? They had apparently seen it back in the 70s ... how amazing is that?
Who would have thought that a story involving a couple moving into a refuge where they discover talking gators and lizards would ever take off the way it did? Wow.
I wonder if you don't sit and hold your award sometimes the way that I do - reminiscing about all the press conferences and camera flashes we complained about so much.
Oh the wonder of it all ...

Thanks for the fond memories!
WH

8:28 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

BROOKSBA ... YAY! I'm so glad you came up with this memory of us. I will admit your idea about Penguins at Parties was so adorable ... and I think it would have worked out great if only they weren't such frightened little fellows. They sure did like to bite and what a nasty bite they give! Sheesh. For cute little birds (and yes, they do have feathers, that stupid woman was wrong!) they are so temperamental sometimes; so territorial.
If only we could have build a nice little pen and kept them cozy in winter. It still amazes me that people think all penguins live on ice and in snow when actually, most live in much warmer climates and enjoy the same weather patterns that we humans enjoy. Doesn't that amaze you too?
What also amazes me is the fact that mullet-man wanted to take you out and had the audacity to hit on you. What a freakazoid.
I still dream about Penguin parties sometimes ... what kid wouldn't love that idea?
To be honest though, I don't relish the thought of cutting up fish every morning to feed the little dudes (and dudettes). Had we been successful at our endeaver, that would have been YOUR job. I'd rather be the pooper-scooper.:)
Hey ... I did have another good idea. What do you say to throwing some Puffin parties? They're pretty cute and I SO like to say the word "Puffin."
WH

9:30 AM  
Blogger Justine said...

OMG - you are so incredibly popular I almost gave up on commenting because I had to scroll down so far! :-)

Electronic machines are dodgey, fullstop.

11:14 PM  
Blogger jon said...

I was going to participate in this game because I love the concept, but being a little behind on my blogging, I read your more current post before this one and you mentioned getting married. Now I'm much to upset to play.

What happened to US, Carol? All those nights at the bowling alley? The weekend in Yonkers meant nothing to You? What about our plans to travel the country checking out the different Wal-mart locations? I'm hurt. I want the small piece of plywood back, the one I wrote a poem on for you.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

I remember back in first grade when you were so embarrassed about the perm that your mom gave you that I convinced you that it would be ok for you to give your bangs a trim. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was the day before class pictures.

10:27 PM  
Blogger frustratedwriter said...

Carol,
I was looking at my wall of shame the other day and my eyes fell upon the glass jar that held your skimpy bikini from that night on the beach when we were trolling for medical waste products. The moon sparkled in your eyes as you lifted up a particularly large syringe with a small sampling of blood still inside of it and declared that it was a keeper, worthy of your medical waste collection that you kept in a shadow box, next to your black velvet painting of Jesus and the Disciples playing poker.

We celebrated the find by heading to a local bar and getting wasted. Somehow during the night, when I lost my memory and a few thousand brain cells, I ended up with the bikini in a jar. How it got there, I don't know but it is on my wall, nonetheless.

Not sure what memories I'm missing becase of the alcohol, but I'm thinking I would really like to have your black velvet painting of Jesus and the Disciples playing poker.

7:56 AM  
Blogger Pete B said...

Carol,
Do you remember meeting one summer in Lausanne?
As I recall, I was over there for a conference, but decided to bunk off for an afternoon 'cos they were on talking about boring stuff. We had both ended up at the Olympic Museum with other people who were really into everything; I noticed you trailing along with your group as I was with mine, and we left them to it and went for a walk along the shore of Lake Geneva.
It was a fab afternoon, and those guys whose barbeque we gatecrashed were really great. I'm not sure the evening skinny dipping was such a great idea, but I suppose it entertained the locals. It was nice cuddling up to get warm again afterwards - you're such a flirt!
Hope you caugh the train in time to catch your flight the next day, you never did say...

6:59 AM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Don't tell me you've forgotten about the writers' conference in Galway in 1995. We met when we sat next to each other at that seminar given by that butch woman on character development, and you kept sticking your tongue through your fingers at her. I was laughing so hard and I knew she was looking at me. You were torturing me! We really should have gone to the next talk on dialogue, but the Guinness was calling. Remember how we took a cab ten miles outside of town to that old abandoned castle I knew about? The one I had discovered back in 1984 during my summer post-college fling around Ireland? That was cool, wasn't it. You didn't believe me when I told you how you could still climb up the stone circular stairway, and how there was this open area under the stars up top. Good thing it didn't get too cold that night! Sorry about the hangover though, and not having any water or breakfast. And then the hitchhike back to Galway that morning. Nothing like getting dirty looks from an uptight old Irish priest after a night of debauchery to make you feel like you've really angered the Big Guy upstairs. I don't think he was buying your "we're just exploring this beautiful countryside" shtick. Anyway, we've had plenty of good times since, and I'll always consider you a great, great friend.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Siri said...

And this one time (to be read in the manner of Michelle Flaherty [Alyson Hannigan] in American Pie), when you visited Bangalore just to spend some time with me, your dear old friend, we went shopping and you got bitten by the Sari bug. So we went into one of the exclusive stores on M.G.Road and got you a whole six yards of it in bright red. You changed into it with a big deal of help from the shop girl and me (yeah well all you did was to stand like a statue). We strolled out of the shop like two hot chicks ;). We walked around with everyone giving us odd looks. It was after a half hour that we realized that you had forgotten to put a blouse on and you were…ummmm well in your “innermost” wear under the drape. It was as we were going back towards the store that we noticed her for the first time munching peacefully on an over dry blade of hay. Standing at the side of the road she looked like peace herself half asleep as she chewed on the cud. I still can’t help ROFLing as I remember how the cow started chasing you. You thought it was because you were wearing the Sari and ran for your life but only as you got near another bullock cart did you realize that the cow was merely running towards the fresh green grass blades on the cart and was awfully irritated with you for running haywire in front of her!

3:40 AM  
Blogger annush said...

Merry Christmas Hag :)

My very best wishes to you!

xox-
annush

1:24 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

JUSTINE ... Talk about popular! How about you back in elementary school? Don't forget you were the one who talked Sister Mary Rita into releasing us from any homework assignments so that we could afford more time to observe nature that entire spring! You were the talk of the town, my friend. There's no getting around it ... you surpass me and everyone else, for that matter, in popularity. Just take a poll. Anyone who can get a nun to skip homework assignments for an entire season based on some lame reason such as that one should be sitting in the oval office and running the whole dang country! Sheesh.

(haha ... and you thought I'd forget, didn't you?)
Sincerely as all get out, WH


JON ... Oh cripes. You would have to remember that weekend in Yonkers. Truth be told, it DID mean nothing to me ... but only because I later found out you did it on a dare. Now really, Jon. How much did they pay you for taking me to that three-day-party when no one else would? Oh but the joke was actually on you because later on they dared ME to drop you like a hot potato ... which I did ... hence the long interval with no communication between us. I'm still laughing all the way to the bank on that payoff.
Now you see why I could make good on the Walmart-trek. So sorry - (not really though - hahahaha)
WH


Kirsten ... Hm. Nothing like bringing up old wounds now, is there? It's all good though ... get this ... Ellen DeG has a talk show in the afternoons and she takes old class pictures and pays good coin for the funniest and most embarrassing. It didn't pay much but it got me and Ed out to dinner at a swanky restaurant four times since Christmas! Can't beat that with a stick, can ya?
WH

8:30 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

FRUSTRATEDWRITER ... Okay. I'm mailing off the black velvet painting today. I tried selling it on Ebay but had no takers anyway. And by the way, after careful examination, I think the Lord was playing with a loaded deck. He is holding five Aces. Now who wants a painting like that anyway? I give it to you with much blessing.
As to the bikini in a jar - holy mackeral! Thank GOODNESS you don't remember how that got there! I will NOT remind you and will NOT say the words "For a nickel I will, for a nickel I will" in your presence. Phew. So glad you forgot ... some things are better left unremembered.
WH

8:35 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

PETE B ... Ohhhh yes. I caught my flight alright, but I seem to have left a few pertinent articles of clothing behind. How embarrassing when I realized. If you find my silver camisole anywhere, please mail it. I'm dying to see if I can still get into that thing. Lake Geneva was marvy wasn't it? Naked or not, the water had some fine healing qualities. Oh and those guys? The BBQ guys? One of them gave me a lift to the train and explained male-shrinkage to me. I laughed till I cried because I was left with quite the impression of you till I heard this revelation. :)
Oh to be young and carefree again. Those were the days, Pete.
WH

8:42 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

MAMALUJO1 ... We sure did get pretty silly during that seminar! How could I forget you kicking me to try to get me to stop my antics while that poor woman tried to speak. The castle! I still lay awake at night and dream about going back to the castle one day. Do you think it's still there? Do you think your undergarments are still pressed against the wall behind the big planter in the upper hallway? I wonder.
You were always SO amusing. I forgave you for the hangover long ago ... and for the fact that you assured me throughout our little binge that this stuff was miraculous in that it caused no headaches the next day. What the heck did I know back then?
Your dear buddy ... WH

8:47 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

SIRI ... my friend ... How could I forget? I truly thought that thing was a bull and was running to my 'redness' ... egad was I scared to death! You, standing there laughing and pointing, were certainly no help in the matter. As I hid behind the cluster of boulders at the side of the cart, I was amazed to see that the poor cow only wanted to eat after all.
And you know that darned Sari bug I got down there? Well guess what? I still suffer from it! I don't look nearly as good in one now as I did back then, and I still get confused in the wrapping process, mine always end up looking more like a Roman toga than a Sari, but still ... have you ever considered opening a Sari shop in say ... NYC? I think it would go over really big. I cannot be the only American who would like to walk around in one all the time.
Miss you dearly ... WH

8:53 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Annush ... Thank you for the nice wishes! I know how badly you wanted to write here about our shopping escapades back when Kings Plaza first opened in Brooklyn, but I'm proud of you for refraining. It was pretty embarrassing to get caught with those stolen shoes, after all. We were so young, so carefree at the time ... and god, so BROKE. We each swore never to do that again, and we vowed to each other that we'd wind up with high paying positions later on in life so that we would never have to shoplift again. I've checked your records and see that you have managed to do just that. Me? I stay out of stores now, just incase I get the urge. haha
Miss you, my friend ... WH

8:58 AM  
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