Presentation Variations

I was an A-student when it came to English.
I was an A-student when it came to English and barely ever worried that I might create a run-on sentence.
I was an A-student when it came to English and barely ever worried that I might create a run-on sentence but now I don't really give a hoot.

I used to drive a Volvo.
I used to drive a Volvo while I was dressed as a pretty little black she-mouse*.
I used to drive a Volvo while I was dressed as a pretty little black she-mouse* delivering helium balloon bouquets to children's birthday parties.

I liked this gig.
I liked this gig because I made many, many dollars.
I liked this gig because I made many, many dollars doing a minimal amount of hard labor.

I once had a dog put his nose up my very frilly skirt.
I once had a dog put his nose up my very frilly skirt while I was dressed as the pretty little black she-mouse.
I once had a dog put his nose up my very frilly skirt while I was dressed as the pretty little black she-mouse and had to endure everyone in the room pointing and laughing at such a display.

I was asked many silly, little-kid questions while my character posed for pictures with the children.
I was asked many silly, little-kid questions while my character posed for pictures with the children, such as "Why did you quit your job at Disneyland?"
I was asked many silly, little-kid questions while my character posed for pictures with the children, such as "Why did you quit your job at Disneyland?" to which I had to be truthful and reply, "Sometimes even a mouse needs a little vacation from work."

I also used to be a character similar to a popular little cowboy character** of "Toy Story" fame.
I also used to be a character similar to a popular little cowboy character** of "Toy Story" fame, but he was one of my least favorites because I couldn't nail the voice.
I also used to be a character similar to a popular little cowboy character** of "Toy Story" fame, but he was one of my least favorites because I couldn't nail the voice even after watching (and listening to) the movie over and over and over and over.

I once scolded a retiring fireman.
I once scolded a retiring fireman when I showed up dressed as a nun for his retirement party.
I once scolded a retiring fireman when I showed up dressed as a nun for his retirement party but beat tracks out of there VERY swiftly when someone in the crowd asked me "Yo, so when do you start to strip?"

I have been terribly misunderstood in my day.
I have been terribly misunderstood in my day, but particularly when I was in a male gorilla costume at an anniversary party.
I have been terribly misunderstood in my day, but particularly when I was in a male gorilla costume at an anniversary party and someone approached me whispering, "Dude, stick around afterward and I'll give you a cold one to take with you in your car."

Sometimes this gig just didn't pay me enough.
Sometimes this gig just didn't pay me enough, like the time I was dressed as a certain purple dinosaur***.
Sometimes this gig just didn't pay me enough, like the time I was dressed as a certain purple dinosaur*** and my tail got humped by a rather bullish German Shepard as I presented my balloon bouquet to a three year old child in her backyard.

And that was nothing.
And that was nothing compared with another excruciatingly embarrassing situation I found myself in while portraying the same idiotic character.
And that was nothing compared with another excruciatingly embarrassing situation I found myself in while portraying the same idiotic character ~ but that one will be a post all it's own in the very near future.

Some songs can get sickening after awhile.
Some songs can get sickening after awhile, particularly the "I Love You, You Love Me" song.
Some songs can get sickening after awhile, particularly the "I Love You, You Love Me" song, which - if I hear again, I shall take out the sharpest item in my purse and pierce the larynx of the singer - without flinching.

I've been trying to cut back on the length of my posts.
I've been trying to cut back on the length of my posts because I know many people are pressed for time while blog-visiting.
I've been trying to cut back on the length of my posts because I know many people are pressed for time while blog-visiting and I have a history of burning out people's retinas with one single entry.

So how'm I doin' ?



*Minnie Mouse - but we weren't allowed to use the name. Thank you greedy people at the Malt Fisney and various other corporations.
**Woody (see above)
***three guesses but they all have to start with a B and end in a Y