March 13, 2008

Mona.Vie ? Mona.Me

The Acai Berry
My sister is in the business to promote and distribute a product called Mona.Vie. I am not promoting it, distributing it OR knocking it. I will be a thousand percent honest about my progress with the product because I'm merely posting about it and nothing more. Please bear in mind the following:

*I am a cynical son-of-a-gun.
*I am generally skeptical about new-fangled, fad-style, kitchy koo stuff ... and particularly if it calls for opening my wallet.
*The sister who introduced me to the product is one I've had some major issues with in the past. I still feel that we're a bit cautious around each other, but the lines of communication are open again after years of breakdown. (I bring this up to demonstrate that I'm not just cranking my sister's business)

I've been quite ill for some time now. I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which some of you will recognize as the disease they've named in order to validate people in real pain whose tests produce no workable diagnosis. Another issue that came to light recently is my now defunct thyroid. It is n'more. It has ceased to be and has expired. IT is an ex-thyroid.

When a thyroid ceases to be, your body pretty much goes on strike. It feels as though your skin wants to just crawl right away from you; like your very bones are turning to sand - not to be relied upon for very much of anything. Your short-term memory has gone to the birds and your weight skyrockets out of control. I have no energy to speak of. Showering and brushing or blow-drying my hair knocks me for a loop. No, I mean, I could actually sleep after such a rigorous (sarcastic) activity.

These same symptoms can be caused by several other illnesses, so lots of blood has been drawn and tested over a long period of time. One of the other things that can cause similar symptoms is severe vitamin D deficiency; which ~ oh by the way ~ I've also been diagnosed with.

I have felt this way for months and months and it has been costing my husband and I exorbitant amounts of money just to try and get answers and adequately medicate me.

Some things are easier than others to make right again or at least, to make bearable. The vitamin deficiency will be an easy fix (hopefully) as I've been on mega-doses of vitamin D for nearly five weeks now. Another couple of weeks should tell how I stand with that. Normal range of vitamin D for someone like me would be between twenty and one hundred - twenty being the lowest acceptable number. Mine was nine at the time of testing.

The thyroid function was another disaster; normal range would have been something like .43-4.5 (or thereabouts) ... 4.5 showing dangerously low function. Mine was some asinine number like 23.64.

So yeah - no blogging for me for a long, long while. I just couldn't find the slightest bit of energy ... and on many occasions, had trouble focusing on any one thing for more than fifteen minutes at a clip.

Enter the Mona.Vie.

In case you haven't heard of it yet, have no fear, you will. Trust me on this.

Mona.Vie is a berry juice, fortified with Omega 3 fatty acids and containing loads of anti-oxidants. Those are the things that help us fight bad bad evils wanting to invade our bodies. No, seriously, they are. It's all good stuff. It's supposed to help with everything from dry skin to joint pain, from muscle ache to cholesterol. Having spoken to my sister for some time about the product now, and having read up a bit about it on the Net, I am being serious when I say that if you name a symptom, the elixir* will fix it.

I don't want to waste too much sarcasm until I know that the stuff doesn't help me. I'm just being honest here. Oh ... trust me when I say that I've had so much pain in the past six to eight months that I desperately WANT it to help me. I'm trying it - have had it for one week, twice per day, and just bought two more bottles (another two week supply) for the sake of giving it a fair shot. I do WANT it to work. I just have a lot of trouble believing that it might get me mobile and well ... human again. We'll see.

I will be reporting on this from time to time. For now I will say this. You can read here and know that everything I write will be gospel on this topic. I will not exaggerate and I will not hold back. If it helps, I'll say so. If it does nothing... you'll read that too.

So far, I can tell you the following positives about Mona.Vie. It's delicious... in my opinion. Then ... I like pomegranates, and that is the primary taste; a bit tart, highly berry-ish, and also sweet ... though sweet might not be the first thing that registers. I do believe it is an acquired taste, even if you're not totally keen on it immediately.

I sleep better... but still have the menopausal sweats (how charming). Now, instead of waking up four times every night and tossing and turning to get back to sleep, I wake up once or twice and just long enough to look at the clock. This is a comfort to me, so far.

I do feel a bit more rested up in the morning now. Is it psychological? If so, I can't care.

On sunny and warmer days, I feel a bit more sturdy on my weakened legs, and my joints give me less distress. I realize this would be the case anyway - but it WASN'T the case for me. Not lately.

Not to be graphic, but my bathroom activities have been less stressful as well. There. I found a way to be tactful [pats self on back].

Lastly, I've been aggravated lately by acid reflux. I refused to even mention this to my doctor since it seemed the least of all my evils ... and another pill I do NOT want. It seems slightly less bothersome.

Again, all this could be psychological, though if that were the case, you'd think I'd have been capable of attaching my cures to something less expensive. This stuff costs a LOT of money. So there it is. The huge negative. Sorry sis. It is VERY expensive for enhanced fruit juice.

One of the plugs for the juice is that if it can help you eliminate buying a blood pressure or cholesterol Rx, for example, you'll be batting a thousand. BUT ... my blood pressure med and my cholesterol med are both a mere $10 per month each. Sure I would love to eliminate them both, or one, but that still wouldn't pay for the juice.

So the good things so far are: seemingly better sleep pattern, tad more energy, overall improved bathroom activity. I also happen to like the taste, and the jury is still out on the reduction of my triglycerides or cholesterol. I will keep you updated on that.

The bad things are: cost, and for some, possibly a bit tart to the taste. Cost is a bit much though. Roughly $25 per bottle and that's because I'm getting it through a distributor. If I wasn't, I believe it would cost around $37.00 per bottle! Which would mean, I can't jump on the bandwagon.

I know this is not my usual writing style. It's been gone for so long that I need to find it again. Have you seen it anywhere? If so, please send it home to me a.s.a.p. ... thanks!

Hope you are all well and happy and enjoying the subtle hints of spring in the air. As always, thanks for visiting and reading. I have truly missed my readers!

* I have affectionately named the juice "the roadside elixir" ... some may think I'm being mean - but it's all in good fun, and if it DOES make good and happy changes happen in my body, then I will promptly be reporting it!